the end

• By LERATO
• Reply 3446009
• October 10, 2012 at 2:22 am
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Dear Stoll,

I am so sorry you lost your husband, may God heal you from the loss.

• By clerky96
• Reply 3446240
• October 10, 2012 at 7:44 am
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I am sorry that you lost your husband, but happy your family was there with you. I hope each day brings a new memory of your life together, and that those memories will heal your broken heart.

• By DebbieMc (Inactive)
• Reply 3446308
• October 10, 2012 at 8:13 am
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I am so sorry to hear your news.

• By scoobydoo123
• Reply 3446424
• October 10, 2012 at 8:52 am
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Sorry about the loss of your husband. God Bless.

• By Andreas (Inactive)
• Reply 3446612
• October 10, 2012 at 10:00 am
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Oh Stoll I'm so sorry for you and I know how you feel. Andreas died on September 9. It has been such a hard month. I'm surprised you didn't check in with me on GBM related. I would have helped you the best i could over the past few weeks.
They try so hard to win but in the end it just sweeps them away. Maybe the birth of the baby will help a little but losing him is tough. We are so involved with every aspect of their lives and then one morning there is just silence. It's crushing. If I can help please let me know. You can always go to "friends" and click on me so I can answer you anytime. I send you my very best and strength because the next few days you are going to need it. Bless you honey, you did the best you could and he loves you. Ty

• By momsnelsen
• Reply 3446727
• October 10, 2012 at 10:35 am
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I am so sorry for your loss. May the love of your family and friends as well as your memories comfort you.
Susan

• By suzieta
• Reply 3446740
• October 10, 2012 at 10:41 am
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So sorry for your loss and all that you have been through. What a lucky man he was to have had you and 4 children. May his memory abide for a blessing. And Mazel Tov to you on the birth of your grand-child.

• By Ann5419
• Reply 3448243
• October 10, 2012 at 7:54 pm
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My sincere condolences. Your husband will always live within your hearts. So glad his family was so supportive.

• By AdeleFrances
• Reply 3449366
• October 11, 2012 at 8:30 am
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Dear Stoll,
I am deeply sorry for the passing of your husband. Memories will live in you and his children. He was blessed to know of a new grandchild. And you were also blessed with a grand baby. Sending you peaceful thoughts and joy with your new grandchild.

• By Andreas (Inactive)
• Reply 3449662
• October 11, 2012 at 10:13 am
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Hello Stoll, it's hard now. I just cried and cried and felt as if my very heart was being taken from my body and there was nothing I could do about it. i had to function to get things done that needed doing and people were calling and writing and I was overwhelmed and my mantra was what am i going to do with out you?" The empty space is enormous and dark. i still have not found the bottom of it. Just try to breathe and keep talking to him. I found some comfort there but he wouldn't answer me. You are doing very well. Keep going. It will just happen in front of you. I'm thinking of you, Ty

• By Wereone
• Reply 3449795
• October 11, 2012 at 10:48 am
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I'm so sorry that you lost the love of your life. Wrap your arms around your new grandchild and find some comfort.

• By Wisconsin_Hope
• Reply 3450699
• October 11, 2012 at 3:58 pm
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Dear Stoll,

I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your info. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope the new Grandchild brings you joy knowing your husband was also able to celebrate the birth with you and your family.

• By Debra2010
• Reply 3453194
• October 12, 2012 at 2:41 pm
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Dear Stoll,

I am very saddened to hear about the loss of someone so precious to you. It brings to my mind again how I hope and pray each and every day that we are able to conquer the barrages of such a cathartic experience and lifestyle that it involves.

In such contrast, and to give you strength in addition to the rest of your family and friends, I am very happy to hear of the news of the birth of your grandson.

What a whirlwind of emotions that our lives can take us through.

I send you long-distance hugs and perpetual comfort through your grieving. Take care.

• By Andreas (Inactive)
• Reply 3453746
• October 12, 2012 at 7:17 pm
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Hi stoll, just checking in to say hello and that wringing your hands, smelling their clothes, laying awake all night wondering what's going to happen now, having the slience in the house be deafening, and walking around like a zombie seems to be perfectly normal as I've been experiencing it so far. One foot in font of the other. love Ty

• By JeanSyn
• Reply 3454766
• October 13, 2012 at 9:24 am
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My 47 year old brother passed away this week after a 17 year battle (oligo, then surgery, radiation and chemo, second surgury after new growth seven years later, anaplastic astrocytoma gr 3. After more growth about a year ago, started carboplatin and avastin, but almost died of embolism, recovered, went on Temodar. Didn't work so went on Carbo/Avastin again. He died after he developed a brain hemorrage.
Of course our family wonders if we should not have done Avastin but the NO said it was dire, it was growing. My father died at 51 of GBM so I did not want to see my brother live his life as a vegetable for 6-8 months so I am just greatful it was quick. HIs quality of life was going downhill. It's amazing how he battled this for so long.
My sisters and I are very sad. He was always upbeat and very much in denial. When asked how are you his answer was always
I'm perfect".
Now we worry about our 89 year old mother who had to bury her son. She does not want to live any longer, in a zombie state right now. We are taking turns watching her. Will not allow herself to read, watch tv or anything. She just lays around and sleeps alot. ( We never told her the tumor came back due to her heart issues. We told her about the embolism and brain bleed.) She is questioning that so we are debating whether to tell her the truth. She blames the seizure medications and also herself, because she told his wife she saw a mild siezure which led to the MRI where it showed growth and they put him on new meds. She is very angry at everyone and more at herself, even though I told her these seizure meds don't cause brain bleed or embolism. (It's the Avastin that increases the chance.) I am hoping she can survive this.

• By Andreas (Inactive)
• Reply 3457460
• October 14, 2012 at 12:43 pm
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She is 89 yrs old, she is his mother, she is tired and she desreves to know the truth. The truth is all there is about this disease. You should know that after dealing with it for 17 years. I lost my husband after 17 months. Now that I can stand here at this point I'm grateful that in the end it took him quickly. He was 46.
Your mother has seen so much over the years.. do you think she already doesn't know the truth? You do yourself a disservice in lying to her. Tell her to be glad she saw the seizure and how helpful the MRI was in showing what was really happening. It could have been so much worse. Focus on the fact he had so much more time that others get and that she got to be with him as long as she did. Of cousre she is angry. It's OK. Sometimes the anger is just enough energy to keep going until the next day comes.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't pile onto youself the misery of living with not telling the truth. She has had a long life. No one knows when she will choose to let go. Maybe she sees something we don't - we haven't lived that long
My dad said something to me a long time ago I will never forget. I think i was around 45 at the time. We were having some sort of discussion ( which is a polite word for one step away from a major agrument about who knows what now..) and I said " Look, I'm 45 and I know what i think about this and blah blah blah.... and I'm not a child any more" My dad looked me in the eye for a minute and then he said " You will always be the child. I don't care how old you are. I am 25 years older that you and in those 25 years I've seen things you have no idea about. It's impossible for you because you have never lived those 25 years and someday you will understand.' It's 25 years later now and i have lived those 25 years and my mom is still here and she is now 85. And when I go to her I'm always aware of my Dad ( who is now gone) and I still hear him saying " You will alwyas be the child"
Do your best,
Ty ( I'm Andreas' wife. He left Sept 9, 2012)

• By golfwife
• Reply 3461285
• October 15, 2012 at 8:41 pm
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Dear Stoll,

I'm so sorry for your loss. So many have passed in the recent past. Almost overwhelming for all of us on the same trajectory. I pray for your peace and hope that you understand that nothing we do as caregivers can stop this runaway train called GBM. Please take extra, gentle care of yourself now. Peace...
Liz

• By Andreas (Inactive)
• Reply 3478756
• October 22, 2012 at 12:10 pm
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Hi Stoll, don't know if you are still here but I am and I've been thinking of you. Please feel free to hit a friend request from me and I will be glad to talk to you any time. I know it's so very hard. all my best to you, Ty