Adult Children Caregivers

• By Seaweed
• Reply 3617621
• December 12, 2012 at 9:27 am
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yes I have someone who had it in 1995 a brain tumor and cancerous and not operable it is has been sixteen years in remission but with other issues. They have alot of others problems from the chemo and radation, diabetes and diabetes insipdus and strokes, growth defieancy and tireness just to name a few. I am amirable this person because no matter what the struggles they face look up and keep going. They are almost done with college and with no health issue they will graduate in June 2012. I know they are having some issue with there health but do not want go to doctor because there is no answer and the doctors do not know what to do so they do want to go to doctor anymore.

• By GrandmaF
• Reply 3620829
• December 13, 2012 at 9:39 am
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My heart goes out to you! My mother lived with my husband and me from almost the time we married, but eighteen years later, she had Parkinson's disease. Her mind went and finally she didn't know me. I had to be with her constantly, so could no longer work. It is one of the most difficult jobs in the world. To watch your Mother, the person who was always taking care of you now needing your care. If your Mother is in need of constant care it is extremely important that you will be able to have time for yourself. Even having a friend come in and sit with her while you go out, is extremely helpful. When my husband would come home, I would take off for shopping or something, just to collect myself. If her memory is good, that is a blessing in itself, but chances are it may cause problems later.

If the time comes when it is too much for you, do not feel guilty if you have to put her into hospice care as that may be the best for her and you. One thing that is good for you both is to remember the happy times together from years before. Look through pictures and have her tell you about them.

For me, our doctor and our Pastor both told me that it would be either my mother or me in the nursing home. I still had children that needed me so eventually the nursing home was the best place for her to be. Constant visits are very important for both of you.

Any time you need to vent, I am a person who understands both sides. Now I have the brain tumor plus fibromyalgia, cervical and lumbar spine herniated and bulging disks, diabetes, had bleeding on the brain from a fall and still pain from it for the past five years. Plus many other medical problems, so that is why I have very large concerns that my children will have to take care of me like I took care of my mother. I can no longer do many things like cook and clean house. One thing to remember is that she does not want you to be caring for her, but probably feels guilty for that also. Just do what you need to do, be gentle and understanding, but make sure she can have as much independence as possible for the both of you.

Hope you don't think that I am preaching to you, but having gone through the anguish of watching my mother go downhill in every way, I sure do understand.

May God grant you the strength that you need to go through this difficult time.
Grandma F

• By HaVeHoPeAlWaYs
• Reply 3622446
• December 13, 2012 at 6:59 pm
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Grandma F thank you for the response. It really helps. I am so sorry you are going through this. Life just isn't fair. I know it sounds childish. I will do all I can for my father. I appreciate your offer to vent because I just need some advice or someone to listen. Especially someone who knows where I'm coming from. I wish you the best of luck. I'm sending positive thoughts and will keep you in my prayers! Your mother was very lucky to have you and your kids even luckier.