Taking mom to the doctor tomorrow

• By CB2012 (Inactive)
• Reply 3401122
• September 24, 2012 at 6:35 am
• Report post

Just said a prayer. Thank you for sharing the idea about the doctor reading the note from you. Keep us posted.

• By Lakegirl2
• Reply 3401240
• September 24, 2012 at 8:01 am
• Report post

At first I thought you might be my sister. She is taking Mom to the doctor's for MRI this week and back to the neurologist next Monday. She's had mini tia's but won't admit to them. I recognize her behavior because I've witnessed alot first hand - my husband has Alzheimers. Mom told me she didn't want my sister to go in with her because the doctor doesn't talk to her but to my sister.
Now she is trying to find an excuse not to go back to the neurologist next week. If he tells her she has a form of dementia she won't accept it. I will say a prayer for you. I dont' think the paper thing will work for us since my mom can get very parinoid right now.
Have you thought of just calling the doctor before the visit and tell them about her behavior?

• By cmn1 (Inactive)
• Reply 3401373
• September 24, 2012 at 8:54 am
• Report post

Sending both good wishes and a prayer. If the note doesn't work, you might make an appointment with the doctor and go by yourself. I've done that, both with my husband's neuropsychiatrist and PCP. When you call for the appointment, let the receptionist know that you want to discuss your mother, but that she won't be coming. Both doctors' offices said they do this often and made sure the doctor had my husband's records to discuss with me. It worked well.

• By MAW12
• Reply 3401845
• September 24, 2012 at 11:46 am
• Report post

Vwogdaughter,

I wish you lots of luck and have said a few prayers for you and Mom and doctor as well. The note thing has worked for me as well.

I have to tell you a funny story. Mom's PCP was always a crack up with us, trying to change the mood. When he tested her on some general questions to see how bad her dementia was, he asked her who the president was? At that time it was George W. Bush. She look at me then back to the doctor, he said I will give you a hint, & that is, his father was also president, do you now know who I am talking about? Well, Mom being Mom, came up with her own response, "well it must be that dumb jack ass that is much worse then his father ever was." I almost flipped out when she said that. The doctor just busted out laughing.

I hope that story gave you a laugh as well. They can come out with some of the funniest things to say at the worst times. Please hang in there my friend and please keep us informed as to how Mom is doing. You and your family will be in my prayers.

• By Vwogdaughter
• Reply 3402033
• September 24, 2012 at 12:50 pm
• Report post

Thank you. Her appointment is at 2:00. She has been very difficult the past couple of days. Refusing to eat or drink to show me she can do what she wants to do. I don't argue with her. It would just make things worse. Mornings are not so bad but the afternoons, look out. She hasn't eaten anything so far today. She says "I'll eat When I want to eat." I'm praying the doc will see a lot of this himself. I'll try the note but if that doesn't work out I will try calling for an appointment without her there. Thanks for that suggestion.
Mary Ann I love the story about your mom. It made me laugh. She sounds a lot like my mom.
Thanks for the prayers.

• By VAE
• Reply 3402353
• September 24, 2012 at 2:45 pm
• Report post

I was reading all the above and I swear I had to look and see if I had written this :} When we went to the psychologist and they did the testing for memory mom still denies it. She has TIA's as well and I am not to sure they aren't getting worse. Her left side is affected as well and getting worse. I do the same thing if I need anything discussed or if any thing changes from one week to the other (which it does) I send them a fax so it can be gone over and put in her chart. I will say a prayer for you as I know how hard this is just know you are not alone and if you have maybe noticed even though your mom gets angry with you the next minute she can be talking and agreeable as any. BUT they never forget anything bad lol. Good luck and prayers for you.

• By Vwogdaughter
• Reply 3403473
• September 24, 2012 at 10:44 pm
• Report post

Everything went well. I didn't get to slip the doc my note. They were short handed today and the nurse was to fast coming in and out. However my moms doc is the best. He knows her so well. He came in and sat down and ask mom how she was doing she acted like everything was great. He then looked at me and I shook my head and he knew. He ask Me about how she had been doing on her new meds and ask was she still having issues. I said yes he would ask yes and no questions in a tone that mom could not understand what he was saying. He is having me change the time of day I give her citrolapram. Instead of at night I'm to give it at noon to see if if helps her afternoon issues. I try that for two weeks and then call him and have an over the phone talk. I will be able to talk to him openly without fear of mom getting mad. This was his idea. I just love him so much. He is a great doctor. He also checked for a bladder infection and everything was fine. He did tell me that meds may or may not help in his opinion. Sometime they do and sometimes they only help for a little while. We will try this and see. He said he will try something els if she gets worse like maybe adding something with what she s already taking. So over all things went good. I do realize this s not an easy road and it's only going to get harder. I just have to get myself through the rough days. And your right VAE, she does forget being angry. Tonight before she went to bed she was all nice and sweet. After all the fit pitching. She acts like nothing was ever the matter. It's an emotional roller coaster for me.
Thanks everyone for all the prayers and support. I really appriciate it. It makes the hard days a litte easier. And I don't feel so all alone anymore.

• By jdpitt
• Reply 3403572
• September 24, 2012 at 11:18 pm
• Report post

Glad your appointment with your mom went well. It helps to have a doctor so willing to really listen and know the patient so well.

And MAW12 I could just picture the look on the doctors face when your mom said that. Thanks for the chuckle.

• By timarie
• Reply 3404467
• September 25, 2012 at 9:54 am
• Report post

@vwogdaughter - I'm chiming in late here, but so happy your mom's appointment went well. My mother's physician is so caring, responsive, and understanding. It means so much to have a doctor who understands and is on your side to be proactive in helping your mom. You're in my thoughts and prayers daily - we all need them, and they do indeed help. Please continue to remember you are most definitely not alone.

@MAW12 - My mom said a similar thing when a neurologist was testing her memory during one of her hospitalizations, earlier on before her dementia progressed to where it is now. He asked her who the president was (it was George W. Bush) and she thought a few moments and she kind of waved her hand dismissively and said "Oh, you know, that idiot whose father was the President before". That put a big grin on the neurologist's face! I suppose we need to take the laughs where we can find them.

@Jilly2 - My mom has had TIAs and this has contributed a lot to her dementia, which is additionally due to Alzheimer's. I'm so sorry your mom may have this, I know it's difficult with your husband --- and you are helping him with such grace, compassion, and a positive attitude in the face of lots of scary challenges. Sending lots of good energy, thoughts and prayers to your family.

@VAE - It's true! My mom can be belligerent and uncooperative one minute, compliant and sweet as pie with ice cream and a cherry on top the next. I sometimes beat myself up during those belligerent moments when I feel myself growing frustrated, but it's helpful to know Mom *probably* won't remember if I slip and speak to her in a tone that reveals my impatience. It is amazing what Mom does remember, though; just when I think I'm in the clear - whoops, look out! : )

Much friendship and thanks to ALL of you for sharing your advice and for being so wonderfully supportive.

• By MAW12
• Reply 3404946
• September 25, 2012 at 12:42 pm
• Report post

Vwogdaughter,

So glad the appointment went well. I am glad your doctor is so caring for Mom and for you. This does help make things better. I am glad I could give you all a little chuckle with Mom's story. Tina, it sounds as our Mom's are twins in there comments. It is so funny at times the things they say, and that is what I treasure the most as it always put's a smile on my face and make a bad day better.
Vae, good to hear from you. Yes, my Mom also has a lot of TIA's. It does make her worse but there is nothing they can do for them.
All of you please hang in there and keep your spirits up. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. This almost seems like a sisterhood of friends with the same problem in the family, group hugs to all.