Last night I felt it really I think for the first time. Alone.
My husband with Alzheimers will not go anywhere with me unless we are alone or with close family. This has been his way for years now, but it really didn't hit me until I went to bed last night and the feeling overcame me. My daughter who lives with us is rarely home due to school, work, coaching, etc. I am still working and my boys are married living a couple of cities away with children. All is well, I can handle alot, I am strong and have a solid family/friends life. But it was a feeling of terrible lonliness. Regardless of how we manage to take care of those affected, the finances, the meals, the house work, the every day things we must face. We are married, in a relationship for love and all that comes with that relationship. I had a tough time sleeping but today as I am watching him eat his oatmeal and toast while watching TV, he is happy. So am I, but lonely.