Lonliness

• By Brad56
• Reply 3295735
• August 16, 2012 at 1:22 pm
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My name is Brad. I need to find a support group in Charlotte, NC for Cancer and Alzheimers.

Bradhufeld@aol.com

Thanks,
Brad

• By MAW12
• Reply 3295756
• August 16, 2012 at 1:30 pm
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SheriMarie,

I don't know what is like to have a spouse with this, but I really miss my Mom. She is not good but she is still with me. That is fine but still miss her smile. Hang in there my friend and you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

• By MAW12
• Reply 3295823 · In reply to 3295735 by Brad56
• August 16, 2012 at 1:53 pm
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Hi Brad, Found some information for you and will send it to you on your e-mail address.

Good luck and you and your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

• By Brad56
• Reply 3295881 · In reply to 3295823 by MAW12
• August 16, 2012 at 2:13 pm
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Thank you

• By Jerry_S
• Reply 3297831
• August 17, 2012 at 8:24 am
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I feel the same way, the loneliness hits me as well, my wife was dx at age 56. She has no interest in doing anything and probably couldn't if she wanted too. Hard to believe we could sleep in the same bed and I feel so alone. I've seen my Dr to get meds to help me through the depression that comes with this. I hire a housekeeper to come in once a month and that helps take some of the load off me. Sometimes we just need some one to give us a big hug. Hang in there, keep busy, but not too busy that you wear yourself out.

• By SheriMarie
• Reply 3299394 · In reply to 3297831 by Jerry_S
• August 17, 2012 at 6:24 pm
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I think sometimes the lonliness comes from conversations of future plans, double dates, community events, etc. Making decisions on our future is on me, tough. Planning vacations in the future. I took him on a short vacation recently with other family members and had it not been for my kids that would have been a rough time. All in all, things are not as bad as they may be in the future, but still lonely.

• By LostLife
• Reply 3299804
• August 17, 2012 at 9:46 pm
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Today is my 28th anniversary, and I am so lonely. There will be no celebration, no conversation, just his muttering and trying to get through the day. I still can't believe this is happening to us. We were so happy just a few years ago and now, my husband cannot even be apart of a conversation, he is 52 years old! I thought maybe a movie but he cannot sit for any length of time, then I tried a walk, but that did not turn out well, so here I sit watching reruns and my husband try to work a puzzle. He is becoming very interested in religion so I went to the Catholic store and bought him a rosary, to pray. I need to be grateful for what we have and what we had, but it is difficult sometimes.

Next year I think I will hire someone to clean the house and make dinner for us, that would be a treat. Maybe we will go to Dairy Queen, well have to go husband needs me. Thanks for listening.

• By jlmjsc
• Reply 3300478 · In reply to 3299804 by LostLife
• August 18, 2012 at 7:49 am
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Dear Lost life,

Your posting touched me so. I don't have any real advice but wanted you to know you will be in my heart and prayers. I admire you so, and your husband is a lucky man to have you. Keep on keeping on. Happy anniversary. This is what marriage is about, in sickness and in health. We have been married almost 50 years, and there have been lots of ups and downs, but I am so glad to still have my husband, even with this terrible condition.

• By SheriMarie
• Reply 3300749
• August 18, 2012 at 10:03 am
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Our anniversary I pulled out our wedding photos to look at again and reflect on. Made a nice dinner and relaxed. It's not the same but it's a special day just for us. The nice part of the day is when my parents came over and gave us their 30th wedding anniversary candle. Maybe this starts a new tradition of passing the candle to our children as well. New traditions are nice. But still miss him.

• By LostLife
• Reply 3300878
• August 18, 2012 at 10:45 am
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Thanks for your words of kindness, I sometimes feel that no one understands. This has been a hard week more doctors more medical issues. Some days are worse than others, but I need to look on the bright side. Our youngest son just left for grad school, we are empty nesters, not what I thought. Our lives are not what we planned, and I am still getting used to it.

We recently moved and live with a retired crowd, this is good for him, but hard for me. I am 52 and living with 80 year olds and sharing their day to day issues. I took care of both of our mothers. My husband's mother just died a year ago, now he requires my full attention.

This website helps alot, since I do not know anyone else my age with these issues. I am still working and trying to keep life normal. But I don't remember what normal is anymore. I am so shocked when I hear a couple having a pleasant conversation, not arguing about driving or credit cards. I am so tired of doctors and their mis-diagnosis and more drugs that do not work. The side effects are awful.

Appreciate you letting me vent, neighbor just came to the door, my husband is wandering so I need to go get him.

• By Brad56
• Reply 3301118 · In reply to 3297831 by Jerry_S
• August 18, 2012 at 12:12 pm
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Call me if you would like or maybe we could meet at a Starbucks.

Brad- 704-299-3289

• By Brad56
• Reply 3301128 · In reply to 3300878 by LostLife
• August 18, 2012 at 12:15 pm
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I would like to talk to you about how you feel and what I am going through.

Bradhufeld@aol.com

Thanks,
Brad

• By BobDeMarco
• Reply 3301736
• August 18, 2012 at 4:54 pm
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I don't know if these will help or not.

Are Alzheimer's Caregivers the Forgotten?
http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/04/are-alzheimers-caregivers-forg otten.html

Why Do Alzheimer's Caregivers Torture Themselves?
http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2012/03/why-do-alzheimers-caregivers-t orture.html

Dementia Speak, Why No is Just the Easiest Word to Say
http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2012/06/dementia-speak-why-no-is-just- easiest.html

God bless,

Bob DeMarco, Founder
Alzheimer's Reading Room

• By Brad56
• Reply 3301936 · In reply to 3301736 by BobDeMarco
• August 18, 2012 at 6:25 pm
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Thanks Bob

• By scorp
• Reply 3312463
• August 22, 2012 at 3:42 pm
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I so understand where you are at. My husband (63) is at Stage 6 and starting to sleep a lot, having hallucinations at times, becoming extremely anti-social, and having a very hard time talking or even paying attention long enough to hear a sentence. We have a business and a 16 year old at home which have become my sole responsibility. What I miss the most is, my husband. I miss the conversations we used to have, my confidante, my best friend, and my partner. I have a lot of friends but, I want my best friend. It's hard watching him struggle with everything and worried that I may get too wrapped up in taking care of him that I'll neglect my parental responsibilities. I hate this disease! Best wishes to you and yours!

• By missmyhusband
• Reply 3343468
• September 3, 2012 at 8:51 am
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Reading all these posts makes me appreciate the fact that there are other out there like me. I'm 51, working full time and my husband recently had to go into a nursing home due to his Alzheimer's. It is so hard & so lonely. Hang in there SheriMarie & you are in my prayers.

• By Giov
• Reply 3346095 · In reply to 3300878 by LostLife
• September 4, 2012 at 7:52 am
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Everyone has described many of my feelings. My husband was diagnosed 2 years ago at 58 & one of the hardest parts is not knowing how fast it will progress. I have thought about moving to a active adult retirement community thinking that it would be best for us but would it? You often pay a monthly fee for having a community center and all that goes along with it but I don’t know how much use we would get out of it with my husband’s condition. It’s hard to keep friends and impossible to make new friends. I just don’t know what plans I can make for the future.