Husband Alz

• By arianna123
• Reply 3282552
• August 11, 2012 at 7:02 am
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Sleeplesnight --

My husband eat sweets throughout the day. However, he has me buy only the mini candies that come in a bag, like Reese's, Peppermint Patties, etc. If he has a regular size candy bar, he cuts it in half, and eats come later. He also like a great variety of cookies, ice cream, etc. available,but just samples the items. I think his body or mind crave a constant influx of sugar. He also drinks soda all day. I eat a heart healthy diet, but when I take some of his candy it is to fill an emotional need. That's not great either.

He will also request fresh fruit, but will usually eat only one serving from a whole bunch of grapes, package of melon slices, etc. I think he enjoys eating foods that remind him of his southern childhood, including fried food and high sodium foods. In addition having Alzheimer's he has COPD, and is oxygen 24/7, so his life is very restricted. My last husband died from complications of Parkinson's disease. My personal view is that anyone with a fatal disease should be allowed as many small pleasures as are available to him or her. I'm glad you brought up this subject.

• By cmn1 (Inactive)
• Reply 3282737
• August 11, 2012 at 8:48 am
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6 years ago when my husband was first diagnosed with AD, I frustrated myself no end, trying to figure out what stage he was in. He just didn't seem to fit anyplace! His PCP recently wrote "advanced dementia" on some paperwork for his assisted living memory care staff; that works for me.

Stages are interesting, though. I've seen more than one way of identifying stages. The Alzheimer's Association has 7 described in their materials. Here's a link to their website article
http://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_stages_of_alzheimers.asp?type=alzFoot er.

My husband has been solidly in their stage 5 for the past two (at least) years and is now showing some signs in stage 6. No incontinence problems or issues with dressing, though. He doesn't know me any longer -- usually thinks I'm one of his mother's sisters. He's now living in his elementary and middle school years -- challenging for me because I know very little about those years. I have been in touch, though, with his elementary school and am able to ask reasonably good questions about it to get him talking.

Good luck and best wishes. It's always a challenge, right?

• By MAW12
• Reply 3282807
• August 11, 2012 at 9:25 am
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Welcome to this site. I started on here in June and one of the best responses I got was to get the book called "36 Hour Day". It describe many AD and dementia problems and solutions. It has help me a great deal.


Please continue to ask questions and come back to vent. That is what we are all here for. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

• By madmommic
• Reply 3283515 · In reply to 3282552 by arianna123
• August 11, 2012 at 2:27 pm
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I agree with you. A person living with AD has so little enjoyment in life that being able to eat what they want should be a requirement, unless you are wanting to prolong their lives hoping a cure will come along in time to restore them to their earlier selves. I personally don't think GT would want me to prolong his life in this state. But I will ALWAYS try to make sure his life is comfortable and has as much quality as we can muster.

• By Sleeplessnight
• Reply 3284278
• August 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm
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Thank you for all the replies. My husband will sit and eat any sweets until it is gone. I have to hide food so it is not gone in one day. I have ordered the 36 Hour Day. I keep lots of fruit around. He is over weight and high blood pressure. He use to cry but I think he was aware he was never going to get better. He would get upset if I would bring up Alzheimer's and he would say he didn't have it. He now choke when eating if I don't remind him to slow down and have to cut his food in small bites.
Today I finally found pants with elastic waist, hoping his pants will fit and stay up.
All his friends don't come around. I think that is hard, I feel they abandon him. I know men are not very good about illness but it's not a virus!

• By arianna123
• Reply 3284775
• August 12, 2012 at 5:25 am
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Sleeplessnight --

I, too ordered the 36 Hour Day. It should arrive soon. I expect it to be helpful on this long journey.

I also purchased "Finding Joy in Alzheimer's," and am almost finished reading it. I am not as favorably impressed with this book as some other readers were. The stories appear to have been chosen randomly, and I didn't appreciate the inclusion of jokes about Alzheimer's. It does have five tips for caregivers and a list of resources.

• By cmn1 (Inactive)
• Reply 3285138 · In reply to 3284775 by arianna123
• August 12, 2012 at 10:08 am
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Arianna123 --
Is Brenda Avadian the author of the Finding Joy . . . book you mentioned? I've heard about a book Creating Joy . . . which others seem to have enjoyed.

• By madmommic
• Reply 3285197 · In reply to 3284278 by Sleeplessnight
• August 12, 2012 at 10:36 am
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Sleepless, you mentioned in your last Post that you found some pants with elastic in the waist for your husband, could you let me know where they are and if they come in different lengths? I have trouble finding that stuff for GT because he is so short legged, and I am terrible at hemming stuff. I think one thing friends of mine could do for me is hem those pants for me so that GT can have more of a variety of pants to wear and some new ones without raggedy hems. God has provided me with many ways of coping with this "monster" disease, but hemming GT's pants does not seem to be one of them. Thanks ahead of time if you have some information about where to buy these pants.

• By arianna123
• Reply 3285297 · In reply to 3285138 by cmn1
• August 12, 2012 at 11:17 am
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Yes, she is the author, and wrote one of the pieces in the book. I wouldn't discourage anyone from reading it, but, as a former editor, I was disappointed that several of the writings were previously printed in other publications. I'm sure she received permission to reprint them. I just thought it would be all new material.

Since there's not much non-technical material out there for us, I'm sure it's a good idea to read what's out there, especially if it is recommended here. I find good buys on Amazon.com on books that are listed as used, but also listed as in excellent or very good condition.

• By Sleeplessnight
• Reply 3285491
• August 12, 2012 at 12:37 pm
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I found the pants online L L Bean they will hem. The pants are pricey but they will hem for free. I also found online, Penney's but were out of stock and on clearance, do not know if they will have again in the fall. Also check men's stores.
This summer I bought the cotton workout shorts with the elastic and never thought I would ever get him to wear but they work great with Depends.

• By madmommic
• Reply 3285614 · In reply to 3285491 by Sleeplessnight
• August 12, 2012 at 1:22 pm
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Thank you for the information. I will go to L. L. Bean today and see what I can find.

• By arianna123
• Reply 3285710
• August 12, 2012 at 2:09 pm
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cmn1 --

I just finished reading "Finding the Joy in Alzheimer's," and remembered that the one I ordered is Volume 2. Volume 1 is still on the market, at least the used ones are. If you're planning to buy both volumes, you want to start with Volume 1. Perhaps it is more what I expected; writings by the author and entries submitted directly to her . . . not reprinted from other sources that one might have read before.

• By hammaw
• Reply 3293007 · In reply to 3282737 by cmn1
• August 15, 2012 at 1:59 pm
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This disease seems to very a lot between people. My husband I would guess is in the moderate stage of the disease. He remembers just about everyone. This surprises me. He has a lot of issues with dressing, shaving, etc. I need to supervise him and sometimes he gets the idea. He does not have the train of thought to do much of anything. He sits, sleeps and watches a little TV. He had been on a strict heart healthy diet for years. Now he pretty much eats what he wants. He too, loves sweets. Are there others out there whose loved one is this far into the disease who remember most everyone?

• By Sleeplessnight
• Reply 3294600 · In reply to 3293007 by hammaw
• August 16, 2012 at 2:17 am
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My husband remembers people but will get names confused. My husband does fine with showering but wants to wear the same thing all the time. I can say your shorts or shirt is dirty and he will change. Shaving this week has been a problem because he shaves better on one side than the other. The news thing he does in the morning, he will stop and stare at me with a blank look on his face. I say good morning ans ask how he feels. He answers but not sure what he is thinking. It's is a freaky feeling. I only wish I knew what he is thinking.
We play catch during the day with a nerf ball. He also rides a excise bike. Our goal is to ride 5 mins. Every hour until he rides 1 hour. Keeps him from sleeping during the day. We set a egg timer so he knows when he is done. He still try to get off after 2 mins.
I am keeping more fruit in the house and give to him with lunch or snack.

• By chickadee01
• Reply 3327081
• August 28, 2012 at 3:59 am
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Hi,

I am very new here. Came across this website today. First of all I'm not sure if I am in the right place. My husband of 33yrs. has what I think some form of "dementia". I had to take him to the Dr. after threatening to leave him. Gave a list of symptoms to his Dr. He did quite well on the neurological test..but no CBC to rule out other illnesses that may mimick dementia. I told Dr. I wanted him to take a CT head w/wo dye due to his personality and behavior changes and always has bad headahes. He did and nothing!!! So now hubby will not go back at all and to him "I am healthy and fine". This is where I am now. He started to show signs about a yr. ago today. He is an intelligent man. He has totally changed to me. My kids noticed a little however it's only both of us now. They live on their own also. I need help and would appreciate some feedback from all...His sign and symptoms are: major personality and behavior changes, He had bad mood swings and at times I feel I am walking on "eggshells" He's not violent. He was very personable before but not now. He still works and he knows all of us and knows what he's doing....but doesn't talk too much, he's in his own world on the computer, his facial expression is like a funny blank stare,,is noticing finding the right words etc, hard at times,. mumbles to himself, swears a lot , gets fixated on one thing...he cleans the house and can't stop until I tell him to do so, like OCD rearranging things often,When not busy he will fall asleep on the couch...yes he loses his glasses, keys, etc., thinking it was normal...however seeing so much changes in him I am just living like this each day and will confront him at times and says he's not crazy!!! Never did a F/U with his Doc. So here I am self-diagnosing him like an idiot..I'm lonely and I have read your stories and I know how you all feel.....He shows no emotion, is rude,.,,just turned into a different person, His memory is ok...that's what I can't understand...Can anyone help me???? Lonely on an island,.,.,..,,.

• By arianna123
• Reply 3327226
• August 28, 2012 at 7:11 am
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Chikadee01 --

Is the doctor your husband saw a neurologist? I'm not clear on what the doctor's specialty, what kids of tests were run, and how the test results were explained. Of course you are lonely on an island. His symptoms seem to indicate that perhaps more than one process is concurring. I hope someone here can suggest the best way to get a diagnosis and treatment plan as soon as possible.

• By cmn1 (Inactive)
• Reply 3327399 · In reply to 3327081 by chickadee01
• August 28, 2012 at 8:35 am
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Chickadee01 --

Welcome. I'm sure you will find many of us here with similar situations to those you're experiencing. Your husband sounds much like mine about 6 years ago, except that my husband was also physically violent toward himself and others, me included. Fortunately, I didn't have a problem getting him to a neurologist who diagnosed Alzheimer's and got him on appropriate meds. Along with a memory medication, he started on an anti-depressant which made a huge difference with the anger problems. We also saw a neuropsychiatrist who was extremely helpful. If he won't go for you, is there someone else that your husband trusts and could press him to see a neurologist? There really is help for him -- for both of you.

My heart is with you.

• By Sleeplessnight
• Reply 3328036
• August 28, 2012 at 12:48 pm
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Suggestion for Cickadee01 check to see what insurance you have to take care of your husband in case he is diagnose with any dementia or alz or other long term disease. If he would need long term care. It is expensive and reading from this site, not much financial help out there. Once he is diagnose with a long term disease, insurance will not cover.
I am sorry I didn't. Now I am struggling to find a place for my husband. You will have to pay some where between 4k to 7k per month for a assisted living home. I don't like the term facility, it sounds so cold. I use the term home because this will become his home.
I read from this site, spouses struggling to pay for caregivers and homes for their loved ones.
I hope and pray your husband doesn't have alz, it is a terrible disease and heart breaking.
My husband's doctor told me to start looking for a home. I am trying to figure how I am going to pay for his care. I work because I have to work two more years to have enough credits to receive my social security. I do have a caregiver and most of what I make goes to her.
I would find someone he is close with that can help you get him tested. My husband didn't want to go thru the test and tried hard to keep from going for test. I think he knew there was something wrong and didn't want to face it. He covered it up for a few years by not talking very much. He would blow up and stressed almost all the time. Work was to stressful for him and wasn't getting his work done.
I probably said to much. We are all here for support.
God bless you and your husband.

• By chickadee01
• Reply 3332704 · In reply to 3282737 by cmn1
• August 30, 2012 at 3:22 am
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First of all,,,thanks to all of you...No he just saw a (PCP) and since his CT Head came out okay Doc never did a F/U. I tried to push it but Doc said it's probably MLC..mid life crisis..You don't know how upset I was. I thought I'd start off with him first then he would at least refer me to a specialist..boy was I wrong!!! I need to take more steps..And of course he is a veteran however I am not
financially stable at this time...I pray each day that I will at least get an answer so I know what lies ahead of me and my future....Also I know the only person who could tell him is his boss which will jepordise his job. I suspect he sees signs also. Talked to some of his employees and they also noticed how he has changed. He doesn't have family anymore except for mine. We all tried but no luck..will do more research in the meantime...thanks to you all again...