One foot in front of the other......

The thought of speaking about my drinking problem or any other problem I had wasn't what I feared, it was facing the problem at all.

I have spoken in front of numberous persons before, revealing my scarred soul always, but this was different. Now I was actually asking for help, would I be able to put one foot in front of the other and really take on this challenge for myself, for the rest of my life? I would see what was to be and only time could tell.

With only a hope and a prayer, lots of belief that I could manage this challenge too, I stepped through the door of my first AA meeting and began the journey . Like heart disease there was much of the unknown all around me. It surrounded me like a new enemy that I only now would face.

With one clear thought in mind I knew that no matter what lay ahead I could do whatever it took to accomplish my goal of staying sober for the rest of my life.

For all of the challenges that having heart disease has given me the greatest accomplishment I have is in knowing that I know how to face the uncertain. Throw in a little of the unknown and I can achieve almost anything. My will to survive is only surmounted by my will to never to fall prey to the unkown relms of someone else's expectation of me.

I am captain of my own ship, in all things I trust what I have learned , survived and conquered. Knowing that I am stronger than death's own grip has renewed my core being and this too shall I be victorious over.

It has been a year already since I have walked through that same door week after week collecting each victorys' chip as I go and claiming my alcoholism as a true part of who I am.

And like all things that I wage war against, like heart disease, it too no longer controls my everyday , my every moment , but instead it is the tool by which I gage my victories and learn from my losses. There remains the room for contining self improvement, day by day, moment to moment, always being captain of my own ship this day and everyday.

Seek all things for your life through peace, kindness and a true heart that knows how to learn to live each day.

CJ