My sister passed away yesterday morning at 10am. As write this it doesnt even seem real yet, just merely words. I have cried but am mostly numb and it seems like a bad dream. How could this be? How could this happen to my sister? To me? To my family? This is only stuff u see in the movies..... as u can see Im in a daze.
She isnt sufferring anymore and I am greatful for that. I do feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders because now I dont spend every second that ticks by on the clock thinking about my sis in pain, worrying about her, waiting for the next tumor markers, trying to find a way to save her....Im free and so is she. That sounds terrible doesnt it? Those are my feeling though...
I loved my little sis so much. She was only 40 yrs old with a husband and two sons ages 7 and 9. I feel so awful for her family and I of course wish there was some way I could rescue them and make things all better. My poor mom and dad too.
Thank you for all of the love and sharing on this site. I dont know what Id do without you guys. I hope they find a cure! I am actually starting nursing school Jan 7th. I will get my BSN in 28 months then 1 yr masters and then get my PhD to do oncology research. I hope I am able to find cures for cancer, I wont give up just as my name is sistersnevergiveup....I am still not giving up.
Love to all of you,
Heather
Edited December 31, 2012 at 3:32 am
Hi Heather,
I'm so saddened to read about your loss. I too was in a daze for the first few days. I think also because of the accumulated burnout, my body had to rest first before it could process anything. I've also read that the numbness and initial disbelief and shock is our bodies way of protecting itself from being flooded with emotional pain. Take your time to grieve and cry, it will be a lifelong journey. My thoughts are with you...
xoxo