My Sister Melissa Has Wings

My sister passed away yesterday morning at 10am. As write this it doesnt even seem real yet, just merely words. I have cried but am mostly numb and it seems like a bad dream. How could this be? How could this happen to my sister? To me? To my family? This is only stuff u see in the movies..... as u can see Im in a daze.

She isnt sufferring anymore and I am greatful for that. I do feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders because now I dont spend every second that ticks by on the clock thinking about my sis in pain, worrying about her, waiting for the next tumor markers, trying to find a way to save her....Im free and so is she. That sounds terrible doesnt it? Those are my feeling though...

I loved my little sis so much. She was only 40 yrs old with a husband and two sons ages 7 and 9. I feel so awful for her family and I of course wish there was some way I could rescue them and make things all better. My poor mom and dad too.

Thank you for all of the love and sharing on this site. I dont know what Id do without you guys. I hope they find a cure! I am actually starting nursing school Jan 7th. I will get my BSN in 28 months then 1 yr masters and then get my PhD to do oncology research. I hope I am able to find cures for cancer, I wont give up just as my name is sistersnevergiveup....I am still not giving up.

Love to all of you,
Heather

Edited December 31, 2012 at 3:32 am

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Hi Heather,

I'm so saddened to read about your loss. I too was in a daze for the first few days. I think also because of the accumulated burnout, my body had to rest first before it could process anything. I've also read that the numbness and initial disbelief and shock is our bodies way of protecting itself from being flooded with emotional pain. Take your time to grieve and cry, it will be a lifelong journey. My thoughts are with you...

xoxo

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Thank you Hope, my thoughts are with you too :) xoxo

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I am so sorry for your loss.
My condolences to all who loved her.

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Heather, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my sister to this horrible disease just after her 49th birthday. The memory of the look on my mother's face at my sister's wake still haunts me, and that was 29 years ago. She had been Stage IV for three years; I thought I was prepared to let her go. There is no way you can prepare for it.

You have been a wonderful, caring sister. She was blessed to have you. You will be one hell of a researcher; we need you to find our cure.

Please keep us abreast of your journey. Love, hugs, prayers, thoughts.

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I am so sorry to hear this. Your sister is so proud of you and your love. God bless you and your family.

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Heather....thinking of you fondly and wishing I had a sister who is as loving and compassionate as you. For the time being, move through your own grief....allow your family members to move through theirs. Do not try to rescue anyone but yourself and do not feel bad that you can't "fix" this.....If you try to carry their burden or protect them, then you deny your parents their emotional process and Melissa's family their process as well. gentle hugs, june

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Heather, I checked every day to see how your sister was doing. I am so sorry to read this posting today. As a stage 4 person myself, I find it even harder to watch my sister also travel this path of stage 4 treatments, pain, side effects, etc. I so understand being relieved she is suffering no more.... but the loss ....... the loss...... the loss of a beloved sister is unfathomable sorrow..... I am so sorry.
kathi

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Heather,
Words cannot begin to convey how sorry I am to hear this news. I will keep you, your sister, and your family in my heart and in my prayers forever more. We will all continue to shout from the mountaintops that this is UNACCEPTABLE and we are losing far too many young, young people (we are all young at heart) to this disease! Seven and nine are FAR TOO YOUNG to lose their mother--I lost my mother when I was 35 and that was far too young. Thankfully, they have a wonderful, warm, caring aunt in you. Going on to study nursing and oncology is a brilliant way to DO something when we all feel so helpless in this fight--thank you.
Love,
Colleen

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She will always be with you and in your heart. Now, be a good auntie to those kids and remind them of how great their mom was. Always be a part of their lives, that would make your sis happy.

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It seemed to happen so fast Heather. I know of the numbness you feel. I had the same reaction every time I lost someone near. Yes, she was WAY too young. My prayers are with you today.
With your caring attitude I think you will make a wonderful nurse and will have the dedication it takes to research what you can about this disease that takes so many of us.
Blessing to you, and rest as well.
Michal

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I am so sorry for your loss. Your sense of committment to find a cure is a beautiful tribute to your love for your sister. I hope your college career is successful and fulfilling. Please take care of yourself. I pray for peace and strength for you and your family.-KLeeR

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So sorry for your loss Heather...you have been a wonderful sister and you will be a wonderful aunt to those lovely boys and you will always have them to remember how much Melissa was loved.
Take care and look after yourself, you need time to recover.
Good luck in your choice of your career I'm sure you will do exceedingly well.
May Melissa R.I.P

Susan xxx

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I'm heartsick over this loss. WE lost a Cancer sister. I always wanted sisters, through my Cancer I got them. I love each one. Today we celebrate her life and accomplishments. We know how strong she is. She will live on in hearts, love, memories and in those she left behind. My heartfelt sympathy is with you and all of her family and friends. This love bond won't be severed by her passing. Sending care, love and healing hugs, ~Linda~

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I am so sorry Heather. I hope you find yourself surrounded by friends and family that can help support you through these difficult days ahead. She would of been so appreciative of all you've done for her. I think you will make a fantastic nurse and researcher. Thank you for taking the time to share with us your sisters passing. She is pain free, cancer free and most definitely by your side.
Wish there were words to take your pain and sadness from you.
Hugs!
Michelle

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I am so sorry for your loss. You were so blessed to have a sister. Remember the good times you shared.

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Dear Heather!

My heart, love and support go out to you! You are so right, your sister is finally free from her suffering and so are the rest of you. Cancer is so draining for not only the person going through it but the caregivers and family members. I will pray that God gives each and every one of you the strength and support to make it through this difficult time. I think your sister wanted to be with the lord before the New Year hit so that you can all start your new beginnings. The up coming times will be difficult as you begin to remember your sister and how much love she gave to each of you. Your focuse now will be to help her beautiful children remember their mother and teach them to hold her memory in their hearts, that is where she will always be.

Gods Blessings and Strength to you all!

Happy New year!
Cindy

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Heather, to say I am terribly sorry for your loss is an understatement. Your sister and her children are way too young to have something like this happen, and in truth there is no age at which it can be justified. I hope that your memories of her, and all your good times together, help to ease the pain over time.

Godspeed to you at getting your BSN, and if anyone is motivated and able to find the cure, it's you. Remember in your research to think outside the box, and I have no doubt that your sister will be helping you as you seek to put an end this disease.

With a heavy heart and a gentle hug.

- Anne

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Fear no more for she is with the Lord, hurt not for she is safe and sound now, care much to go forth in the world to help others in the name of your sister-be gentle to yourself as you did the best you could! My sympathies to you and your family-help them in their time of grief and allow yourself to be helped as well, your are in need of much support now so embrace this time with her family so you may all begin to heal together~Theresa

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Heather
I am so sorry for your loss.
Take care of yourself for now - then pursue your dreams.....
May Peace be with you
Pat

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Heather,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Yes, these young mothers should not be taken. I'm very impressed that you want to do something in your career to stop these terrible losses. Best of luck with your dreams and know that your sister is not suffering any longer.
Jan

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