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Long term Disability

Femtazzie
0 Recommendations

Well, My boss cut my hours down to three days a week when he let about 30 others go. I cannot afford to live on that so we worked out a deal until May 18th to pay me in full and then I was going on Long term disability. It worked out financially better for him and me.

I know this is the best option for me since I can get the rest I need and still do the things I want to do but to be perfectly honest "I am scared Sh*tless" I don't want to be a couch potato and I need to make sure I get up every morning to do something. Money wise it should work out - short term disablility until the long term stuff kicks in. My husband says not to worry about it. It will be fine.

Has anyone else had this emotional drain abvout doing what you need to do? Can you give me ideas to make me get up in the morning. I have been working for over 35 years and am afraid of vegitating.

Femtazzie (Terri)

Explore topics in this discussion:

Exercise Anxiety Cancer Mental health Breast cancer

10 replies

margaret27217

I feel your dilemma. However, for the first time in your life, you can concentrate on your health - both physical and mental. You can also use your time to do things for others. It will come to you just be open.

R

Get a daily routine going. Maybe exercise first thing if you can...a class you are expected at. Volunteer some if you can do that. Set up things to do in advance (lunches with friends etc) so you have things to look forward to.

StickiVicki

Find some volunteer work. I help out in my local Museum and I am doing some work connected to an exhibition coming up in July. Is there a charity shop locally that you could help out in, or some organisation that might need the help of someone with your talents and experience? In the U.K. some charities have volunteer work that can be done via the internet.

What about hobbies? I make cards to sell for charity which makes money for them and gives me an artistic outlet.

Shes-So-Weird

This may seem silly or impractical, but the thing that makes me get out of bed in the morning is my dog. She stares at me as if saying "I need to go outside and I want food. Get up." Otherwise on my non-working days, I would be in bed until noon. Though you don't live alone, you won't have as much human contact as you did while working. You need to be with people. Since you worked for 35 years I know you are responsible and if you did sign up for volunteer work, you would make yourself show up. I'm cheap so if I paid for a class - exercise, art or whatever - I would go and not waste my money.

CJ2006

Terri,

Volunteering is a wonderful way to use some of that spare time. Might I suggest that you focus your volunteer efforts on making a different for BC mets? You can start a local support program, raise money for BC mets research, and/or help build awareness of our condition. I'd be happy to help.

When I stopped working I threw my energy into starting my own local BC mets support program. That was in 2007. We now have 30 members and a very active support program. One of our first projects was to design and sell a BC mets awareness ribbon pin. Then in Jan 09 we incorporated as a tax exempt organization and in Apr 09 we filed for 501 (c) (3) status as a charitable organization to benefit our fundraising efforts.

We have a VERY active fundraising campaign and use our proceeds as follows: 90% goes toward research specifically targeting the ultimate goal of transitioning BC mets from a terminal illness to a controlled, true chronic disease; and 10% goes toward our support program and toward our newest program which is under development: raising government and public awareness on the condition of BC mets.

Our first grant for research will be awarded in late 2009 to Dr. Danny Welch for his KISS1 research for BC mets. We hope his research will ultimately render metastatic breast cancer cells permanently dormant.

More ideas? Please visit our website at www.metavivor.org. NOTE: This is a brand new website and still needs a lot of work to get all the pages up and running, but it will give you an idea of what you can do in your spare time to truly make a difference. If you have any specific questions, I'd be happy to help. Just email me at cj@metavivor.org. Cheers! CJ

chloemom

Hi Terri,
This is more a financial suggestion...seems like your employer is a real gem!! The two of you may have already addressed this but just in case ...
STD & LTD payments are determined based on your income the day you file the applications. If you are still at those reduced hours, so will your benefits be reduced. If your employer is agreeable to increase you to full time for this last week, that should also increase your benefits. In my policy the increase only had to be in effect for 24 hours for the insurance company to use that salary to determine benefits.

You can find this info in your policy and if it wasn't already considered by you and the employer, you probably have time to make this change to your benefit AND it will have no impact on employer contributions.

If you also have employer paid group life insurance, check out that policy as well because for some policies, under disability it can continue beyond your employment termination IF your employer continues making the premiums after you stop working while your disability is determined. Once the insurance company determines you disabled, your group life insurance will continue in force with all premiums waived and your employer may be reimbursed for all premiums he paid in the interim ....if your group plan includes this feature.

One more thing to consider ... all the disability terminology and the direction of the questions are probably going to grate on your sense of who you are and what you are capable of. The thing to remember is that these things that will make you seem unable to function in the work place forevermore are for only one purpose...your disability determination .. not a true reflection of your abilities, what you currently have the energy to do or how you may be functioning right now! My suggestion is, Grit your teeth and remind yourself the info for one purpose only, awfulize the details and this phase will pass quickly!!

I'm sure you will be surprised by how full your days will actually be once you stop working!! Best wishes to you.

Femtazzie

Thank you all for the great ideas and information.

Cloemom, my boss has paid me for the full week even though I only worked 3 days. It took the disability requirement in mnind when we worked our deal.

I am thinking of volunteering but I don't think I can do it for BC Mets. I am still too emotionally invoived - and don't think I will ever not be. But I get support from a group called Cancer Care and they have a thrift shop only a few towns away that I might volunteer at. Also there is a Mental Health group that has a thrift store in my own village (a five minute walk) that is looking for volunteers or they will have to close.

I also want to get into my photography more and research my genealogy so they should also keep me busy.

Shes-so-Weird - My husband is allergic to dogs but we have been researching a HYPSA-allergenic one so we would both walk more.

Thanks all for the inspirations.
Terri

Beachbabe

I can tell from your posts through the months you are far too active to become a couch potato! While I understand your fear of working as an advocate for metastatic cancer as 'picking a scab that may never heal', I think you can most assuredly find a creative way to help 'our' cause while not being detrimental to your mental health! Congratulations, you're starting on a whole new path, a graduation of sorts ;)

lynnwv

Terri,
I was right where you were two months ago. April 10th was my last day of work and it was such a dramatic decision for me, not just financially but emotionally.

Now I could laugh at that anxiety. I have had the busiest month. I finally can rest some during the day so I have the energy to cart my 9 year old to her activities in the evening (instead of asking friends). I babysat my grandbaby for the first time yesterday (15 mos of energy - I'm resting today). I've been writing again (my last book is 4 years old) and reading again. I'm visiting other cancer patients with smiles and optimism. I love touching people, through my church, that don't have family to help support them. I still can't knit because of this hand/foot syndrome, but hopefully later.

I loved my job so much, but it took all I had to work and get through the day. Now I can rest when I need to so I have energy to do things that restore and strengthen me.

It's fine to grieve the end of that faze of your life, but I bet you fill your good energy time with wonderful productive things. I was amazed how it happened so fast for me.

Blessings,
Lynn

kleighk

You sound like you have tons of energy and determination to do whatever you set your mind to. I'm sure you will be as busy as you want to be---just don't overdo it. Remember that this is a chronic disease that requires rest, rest, rest. Good Luck!! Karyn

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