I'm back.....

Hi everyone
Been on leave and glad to be back at work. Haven't posted as had a terrible month with getting very depressed. Saw onc. yesterday for 5th round of Xeloda and she has encouraged me to start on Cipralex to help with some serotonin to normalize me a bit. So hopefully will feel better.
Mom started getting dimentia and it has been hectic at how fast she is going backwards. She is 83 and suddenly gets very confused and hearing and sight suddenly worse. it just happened suddenly, so bit of a shock.
Anyway, going to take my "happy pills" and hope it will work....
Hope you all had great Xmas and New Year..

Report post

9 replies. Join the discussion

Glad to see you are back Inks, I wondered where you went. Depression is awful & I'm glad you got something from your onc and that it helps. I wish you luck with your Mum...such a terrible disease...keep on taking your "happy pills" and welcome back!

Susan xxx

Report post

I'm going through the same thing. For my mom (age 88), it's been a slow progression, but it's now to the point where she pretends to be reading a novel and never gets past page 3. Her memory is a sieve. Luckily for me, she's kind of like a happy drunk. Her mother had no memory at all when she passed, but in the transition time, she was angry and stubborn. My mom is much more compliant, and is still very sociable, still knows everyone if not what they were just talking about.

My problem is that of the two offspring (I have a brother in Colorado), I'm the one who's really close to her, and she lives in Florida while I live in NYC. So my care taking is often long distance and the distress from this situation is substantial. She was with us for 2 weeks at Christmas and I felt like a monster when I put her on the plane back home. But she lives in a fantastic place with assisted living a smooth future transition there (she's in a 1 bedroom apt, and we'll have to move her sometime this year to the sister building that provides assisted living). She has lots of friends there, her church, her doctors, it's a beautiful neighborhood and she doesn't need a car. It's just that I don't know how long I can help her and my great fear is that she'll survive me. And I have no way of replicating the fantastic set up she has there. But I miss her and feel her slipping away. I was a mass of tears and snot the week I sent her back.

That's great that you're getting your happy pills. I'm normally on them but am doing a magic mushroom trial (!) that requires I be off them for a few months. It's hard. I just started Xeloda Monday and am feeling OK on it so far. Hoping to keep my energies up to go visit her every two or three months.

Anuyway sending hugs, and wanted to let you know you're not alone in this combination of elderly parental needs and our own.


Report post

Hi, Bev,

If your mother is anywhere near Naples, I'd be happy to get out of the house and visit her. I'm going through a depression like Inks's because of a showdown I had with my son during the holidays. He has vowed never to see us again, and my regular anti-depressant is not helping with this. I don't know if a pill can.


Report post

I have an internist that I see about my anti-depression/anxiety....he added another medication with my regular anti-anxiety meds. The combo helped balance me almost immediately.....I would suggest that if your onc is prescribing your "happy" pills that you see a psychiatrist or an internist to re-evaluate your meds.....internists are being woo-ed with new anti depressants(like oncologist are being woo-ed with new chemos) and they are up to date with the newest and bestest!

Report post

Susan, that's awful--no a pill won't fix that so fast. I'm so sorry. My mom is in Jacksonville, where I grew up, so she's pretty far away. Her college roomie is visiting her right now so she's on top of the world. Thank you so much for offering.

There are psychopharmacologists out there who know all that pill stuff. It's their specialty to prescribe meds.

Report post

Glad you see you are back.Sorry you are going through so much.I was put on Xanax because I would get very anxious.This crap disease gives us so many emotions.So you do what you have to do to be happy who gives a crap if we have to pop pills to feel better.
Happy your back and let's hope the happy pills help ha ha I am sure they will!!!!

Report post

Hi Inks. I noticed you had gone quiet and I am glad you are back. Hope you can use us to ease the depression. Pills can only do so much, the real work we need to do ourselves.

Report post

Hi Inks,

I hope your happy pills help. I've been on Prozac a very long time and it works well.
You may need some respite care for your Mom. Dementia is so difficult to deal with, and with you being ill, of course it's that much worse.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Report post

I agree with flymom767 - ask to see a psychiatrist who is familiar with depression meds. If you can find a psychophamocologist as bevvy22 suggested, that's even better. Internists, etc. are influenced by drug reps and when it comes to depression, it's like any other sub-specialty: see the specialist. Just because a drug is new, doesn't mean it's better. Brain chemistry is different in each person. As an ER/PR+, HER- bone mets patient, I'm not going to be treated by my oncologist with the same drugs, etc. as someone who is HER+.

Unfortunately, I've been living with chronic depression all my life. Being diagnosed with stage IV BC wasn't helpful but my psychiatrist has been monitoring me carefully and is ready to "tweak" my meds if necessary. And the right meds can help enormously! There is no reason to suffer if there is a medication that will help. I am sorry to hear about your mom, that's difficult under any circumstances but especially if you fighting advanced BC, as well.

You have a lot going on right now, so it's understandable that depression has taken hold and I am glad your doctor is on top of it. Do ask him/her about seeing a psychiatrist who can adjust your meds if they are not working (or if the cost of Cipralex is too much for you. I believe it is one of the newer meds and there are plenty that are available in generic form that might work for you but not cost as much). And don't forget "talk therapy" - a good therapist is priceless and can make all the difference in dealing with helping you through this.

Report post

This discussion is closed to replies. We close all discussions after 90 days.

If there's something you'd like to discuss, click below to start a new discussion.

Things you can do



Discussion topics

Community leaders