Dad Passed Away...

My Dear, Sweet Dad - turned 84 on May 20th and passed away just 7 days later. He had alzheimers, heart issues and declined quickly when his swallowing was no more.

Mom - b/c and mets in various locations... cared for him 24/7 for quite sometime. Yep - even though she gets chemo weekly, and is very ill for days thereafter -- She did her best to do it all. Even with her great petscan news (things were gone, shrinking or stable)... she could hardly be happy... because all she worried about was Dad. The only break she got was when I brought them to our house which was as often as I could get them here.

He had a good, long life and went quietly with me & my husband at bedside (Mom couldn't handle it). We put him in a home for his last 2 weeks. I saw that if things continued (even with hospice), I would lose not only a Dad, but my Mom too from sheer fatigue.

He's greatly missed, but I hope now that Mom can try and see her way to truly caring for herself. Resting when she needs to and doing more fun things that can take her mind of this depressing cancer she deals with.

Mom's hanging in there... I hope that I have her for a while longer.

Thanks for listening.

My Dad's little girl,
Judy

By lynnwv
Posted June 2, 2009 at 7:59 am
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Judy,
I'm so sorry for your Dad's passing. I'm terrible at saying the wrong thing, but I just want to send you a huge hug. I'm praying for you and your mom, that memories will be sweet and comforting.

Blessing,
Lynn

By TellMeWhy
Posted June 2, 2009 at 9:32 am
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Judy,

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad's passing. Be gratefull that you had him for 84 years, and try to remember all the good times with him.

Hug your Mom, and help her through this trying time. It's hard enough dealing with Cancer, but having to deal with grief too makes it worse.

Linda

By blanche149
Posted June 2, 2009 at 11:33 am
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Judy, I too would like to add my sympathy and prayers to you and your family.
You are a very courageous daughter to handle such tragedy as having two parents ill. It sounds like you have done all you can in helping both parents deal with the problems, and I am sure they are both exceedingly grateful for having such a daughter.
May your father rest well in heaven and may your mother get the rest she needs to continue her recuperation and enjoy many more years with her family.

By Deanie
Posted June 2, 2009 at 11:49 am
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Judy, everyone has said all I would say. Just wallow in good memories, the blessing of having your dad for this long and the hope of continued good moments with your mother. Your and your mother's peace will definitely be in my prayers

By cindyrae19
Posted June 2, 2009 at 12:08 pm
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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom. You are a wonderful daughter and I know these past months have been so hard on you caring for two ill parents. I hope your mom can concentrate on her health...it will be hard with the grief, but with a wonderful daughter by her side I hope she continues with such great scans.

Thoughts and prayers always,
Cindy

By edaura
Posted June 2, 2009 at 1:05 pm
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i too cared for my husband at home while I was on chemo for stage IV. he died about a year ago from advanced cancer. It is SO important for your mom to know that she did everything she could for your dad and that now it is her time to care for herself. It's hard! she will need a lot of support and if I can be one of those supporters just let me know. I'll do anything I can to help. Maybe just talking with someone who recently went through a similar experience would help.
God bless you all and stay strong.
laura

By jaf
Posted June 2, 2009 at 1:57 pm
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So sorry to hear about your Dad. I know what how you feel - I too just lost my mom on the 29th of April. She lived to be 95 but the last five years were not good. I know I was lucky to have her for so long but she still was my mom just as your dad was still your dad. Concentrate on your mom and help her through own ordeal and my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

By ElizabethA
Posted June 2, 2009 at 8:26 pm
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So sorry to hear about your dad. My mom also had alzheimers. It does take its toll on the caregiver. Hopefully, your mom will do even better now and you will have her around for a long time. May your wonderful memories of your dad see you through this difficult time.

By Shellieh51
Posted June 2, 2009 at 8:29 pm
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I am so sorry to hear of your dad's passing. Losing a parent is difficult. Bless you, your mother and all who mourn the loss of your dad.

Shellie

By Norie
Posted June 3, 2009 at 4:22 pm
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Dear Judy:
I just came back from treatment and was drawn to your post, as I had lost my beloved dad over 16 years ago at 63.
My heart and thought go out to you and your mom and other family and friends. Your parents must be so proud of the wonderful loving daughter they raised. I know they feel your love, admiration and devotion to them.
AT this moment in time you and your mom will go thru this part of that journey. In time things will become more clear. Let mom go thru her time with this is I am sure she is battling some inner thoughts that she might not beable to share with you. Take youe lead from her but allow yourself to have your mourning process, withdrawl as I call it.
If it brings any comfort to you, time does ease our lose and pain, but the lose never goes away, it just will get easier when you are ready for that.
I am a person of heart and faith in human mankind and my heart goes out to you but I do believe that your father is still here with stories, pictures, and memories.
Sincerely,
Norie

By JudyV
Posted June 4, 2009 at 12:05 pm
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I want to send you and your mom really big hugs, and lots of sympathy. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for all of you. Just know that there are many of us out here hurting for you.
With affection,
JudyV

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