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Won't take antidepresssents...

formydad
  • By formydad
  • Posted May 21, 2009 at 8:13 pm · 4 replies
  • Shared with the public
0 Recommendations

Hello, I have not been on in months. Last I wrote was almost a year ago. My father had an ICD put in, not because he had a SCA but dr's said he was a good candidate for one :-(
Since he had his ICD put in, he is just not himself. He is very depressed and is affraid to go anywhere. The only thing that keeps his mind off of his condition is when he bowls. Now that the summer has come that has stopped and he just sits around. He has two wonderful grandkids and it makes him depressed more, because he feels he can not have fun with them. I keep telling him, just to be with him and play a board game the kids are thrilled. He wanted to be the grandfather that would go out back and throw around a baseball. He is affraid to do much. He doesn't sleep very well, if he has a good nights sleep it's about 3-4 hrs tops.
I feel like I'm at a loss because I can't help him. My mom tries to talk to him and then he just gets mad.
Does anyone out there have any advise for me that I can give him. I think he needs to talk to someone but he won't do that either.
Thank you & god bless everyone.
Donna (formydad)

Explore topics in this journal entry and replies:

Exercise Cancer Counseling Sleep apnea Depression Skin cancer

4 replies

Maridee

Donna,
What a wonderful daughter you are and how great that you are trying to fix a situation that you have been thrust into.

The problem here is your father and I shared a similar experience with my husband. Cardiac problems are known to cause depression. It is validated in medical journals everywhere. What you have to do is show that your father is not the same man since having his ICD implanted and that maybe an antidepressant would help. Too bad that you can't get him to counseling. It really does help.

Can your mother go to his doctor with him? I did that with my husband. I told him first that I was going with him and that I was bringing it up to the doctor. I said that his behavior had made it necessary for me to do and I was sorry that I needed to but it was in his best interest. If your mom can't be strong enough to do it, then you should.

My husband was given antidepressants but hasn't taken them because he is on so many meds and doesn't want to add more. Maybe knowing that he needs them he is trying to be more positive, I am not sure. But I have them just in case!

Your father sounds like a wonderful man who could enjoy all life has to offer if he would just be honest with himself and the doctor. He really has all the classic symptoms of depression and it's too bad that he can't see that. Good luck, God bless and keep us posted. Men can be soooooo stubborn!!!

Maridee

formydad

Maridee,

Thank you so much for your reply. I know what you mean about men being stubborn, that's for sure - LOL.
My mom does go to his dr's appt's but my father doesn't want to hear it.
Maybe next time I will have to go to the appt, too.
I have also suggested to try a sleep study test, maybe he has sleep apnea and needs the mask at night. Ihave been saying this for years, first the dr said good idea, then he said well if you can't sleep it's not going to work. I feel even if he is a sleep for an hr or two, I'm sure they can finds something, as long as insurange covers it, why not! If I had that issue and I felt in the slightest that it would work, I would be there. There is nothing to lose, maybe just gain somemore shuteye.. I'm sure not getting the proper sleep is not helping is issues at all.
Another issue now on his mind, is many years ago he had skin cancer, thank god it went into remission, but now he has some spots on his legs, I have not seen for myself, but my sister has told me and he is afraid to go to the dr for that. I pray it has not come back and it's just old age spots.
He has so much on his mind the heart, this, and a month ago his only sister past away, so just so much. I know it's hard losing someone, they were not very close but it was still his sister, but I wish he could look at what he does have, a loving wife, two loving daughters and two wonderful grandchildren that love him and want to try to act/feel better.
Thank you again, and god bless
Donna

DrD11

Formydad.
To understand and help your father,you have to be in his place.Since this is impossible,let us try to look:What goes through his mind.
From a full functional person,he became a "Dependent Person".
He is limited in what he can do.He is scared for his life,and the life of the people he loves.
He build around himself a shield,resulting in less
conection with the surrounding.
He feels that nobody will be able to understands him,
so he converse with himself,and this ain't pretty for him.
He learned that he got the "Tool",but doe not know why?.Since he got the tool he is a different person.
He cannot understand why he got the "Tool"(Just
for prevention?).You can tell him many times,that
his doctor did it out of concern for this patient life
(Also,these are the current guidlines of the Medical
society.
Not being able to do what he had done before,and
limited in work and home,he retracts to his corner:
Eating and watching TV.
The suggestion of Anti-Depressant is not the best
idea. First of all:He resist the idea.He already feels
mislead by the "Tool" implanted.
Second:Antidepressants are stimulants.It may cause
tachcardia,and increase his pulse rate.He may have again the sensation of "dooms day".
So what should be done?Lifestyle modification.
First :The right diet as Food and Vitamins.
Second:Activity:Join a Gym:Y.M.C.A. where the approach is more personal(Not performance only)
He will meet people.Share his ideas.
If he works from home,continue work on a slower pace.
See if there is a subject that catches his attention
let him read,write and discuss it through blogs and chat room.
Enrol him into classes in junior college.
In short get him off the couch.
As time goes by,he will be surprised to find how much
he can do for himself.
The vitamins should be individual vitamins:
C,D(with calcium)B complex and Niacin(Remember:
Combination medicines are not a good ideas due to side effects)
Of course:Co ordinte with his doctor

Bus

formydad,
I find that daily bike/exercycle exercise and a weekly supplement of B-12 of 5000mg. from the health food store. (Shot-O-B12 by Nature's Plus.) Helps me cope.

71 yr.old Grandfather Bus

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