i find myself coming back to this site every so many weeks and reading posts and crying. i feel so terrible for everyone on here that are losing loved ones. it has only been a little over three short months since i lost my mother. I have receive many supportive replies after my few posts that i feel i need to contribute to others and give back. i just posted advice to a new person on keeping a binder and taking notes at dr appts. i now feel it is so trivial, yet it helped me so much. i hope that i can help someone somewhere, somehow. the crying i do here is actually cathartic. i still have a very hard time believing that my mother is gone from this world. i feel guilty when days go by and i dont remember her death or the fact that she was sick. i wish i didnt. its almost like denial, but not really, because i know in my heart and mind. i am learning to not dwell on how sad her last week was and especially those last few days. is that healthy? im not quite sure yet. i dont visit her grave much--have only been twice since the burial. the second time because my 6 year old wrote her a letter and wanted to take it to grammy and read it to her. it breaks my heart to peices. i wonder how much she will actually remember.. i think she is due another visit because she randomly throws out comments about her being in heaven and singing with the angels and watching us. i promised her we would go plant a flower there soon. maybe God is using my littlest one to help me do the things i think i cant? i am desperately seeking a balance of going on with life and not making everything a memorial of her. i know i still have to go to her house and through her things soon, but not ready to do that yet either. maybe in time. wow. time. we arent supposed to wish our lives away, but...........there is that "time" issue again. until i feel the need to unload once more....I am praying for you all (whoever may read this) and your families who are greiving so.
Already a member? Sign in
Welcome to Inspire!
What - Inspire is a place where you can connect with people who share your health concerns and find information and advice in groups sponsored by organizations you know and trust.
Why - As a member you can use Inspire to let friends and family know how you're doing, contact others who share your health concerns, receive personalized updates and information about participating in surveys and clinical trials, and more.
How - Joining Inspire is completely free and usually takes less than a minute. Join now!
today 6-30-2009
- By drbnhl6
- Posted June 30, 2009 at 1:03 am · 5 replies
- Shared with the public
Posted in:
5 replies
- Oldest first
- Newest first
- By easterbaby
- Posted June 30, 2009 at 6:35 am
- Report post
Sharing your story helps others. Lets them know they are not alone. This is happening to people all over the US and it is a wonderful thing that we can find and off support through a site like this.
After my first husband I waited two weeks before I went back to our duplex and got our stuff out. I only went then because his sister came and got me one day and said it was time. The longer I wait the harder it would be. I was glad she did that for me. I was glad she was with me. We thought about him but not of his death and that he was not there. More of how we were happy he was part of our lives.
I come to this site because my youngest sister was dx with stg iv nslc dec 23 08. She has finished her first line chemo. She is doing radiation now and is in her 3rd week. She is a trooper. She also was there for me when I lost my husband. He was in a car accident but we were only 19. She was 17. She held me up when I wanted to fall. Now I am there for her.
- By Mar24
- Posted June 30, 2009 at 12:30 pm
- Report post
Talking is the best medicine for grieving. Don't ever hesitate to let it out because we are all here for you. The grieving process is so different for each person. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do things that you don't want to do but once you start going through things you are glad you did. I think it took us about couple of months after my mom died to go through her things at the house. Fortanetly for me I live in the house where she died at so taking my time to get to her things was not an issue. I can't tell you how many laughs my sister, dad and I had when we were going through her things, plus a few tears but it helped us all in the grieving process. You have to do what is right for you and when you feel it is right.
It does get easier in time, but it does take time. It just shows what a great relationship you had with your mom.
Maribeth
- By ColeenC
- Posted June 30, 2009 at 9:30 pm
- Report post
I would follow your six year olds looks and go plant the flower. Your going to feel closer and better. I read the discussions most of the time and then turn off the computer. I guess I feel talkative tonight and want to reach out and touch others. I will pray for you to feel a little more stronger each day.
- By Pametha
- Posted June 30, 2009 at 10:32 pm
- Report post
Thankyou for the prayers, because I'm reading this and grieving too. Many prayers to you.
I'm so sorry. I know this is hard
- By Family4Me
- Posted June 30, 2009 at 10:36 pm
- Report post
Thank you for the prayers. Yes, it is the children that keep the loss out in front of you isn't it. I too am grieving and bringing my children through the loss of Grandpa. They were both grandpa's girls so the loss has hit hard.
Plant the flower :). I picked up a book called "What is Heaven Like" for my girls..it's actually been a little therapeautic for me too.
Add to the discussion