3 mos later...from uninspired to MOTIVATED!

my last entry was back in Jan 4. at that time, i wasn't hopeful about losing weight since nothing had really changed on the inside so how could i even expect a change on the outside. still, i wasn't ready to throw in the towel. living my remaining years obese is not an option.

read this somewhere (describes my weightloss attempts). the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result".

fast forward, March 1st...decided to get back on track. i'm down 4 lbs since Jan but crediting that to water weight since i hadn't done anything at all to lose weight.

2 weeks have come and gone and i've worked out only 3 days. haven't made any real attempt at changing my eating habits either. i feel lazy...i feel lost...i definitely feel hopeless. i haven't really changed my mindset, have i?? i'm still doing the same old...

March 15..it's Sunday, the start of a new week at least on calendar so i'm going to take another stab at losing this weight. 3 weeks ago i was sitting in the airport with DH and felt miserably fat. i watched people...specifically the slim women and envied how nice they looked. i remembered looking like that and how i felt then. i wasn't always obese...oh how i want to look like that again!! that day, in the airport, i looked my husband in the eye and said..."the next time we go on a trip, i'm going to be 60 lbs lighter!"

April 21st...i'm down 13 lbs. i started a walking program and had been sticking with it fervently. knew i had to do something with my eating cause all the exercise in the world wasn't going to take off the weight if i kept eating like a sumo wrestler.

from past experience, trying to stay within my calorie range daily never worked. this time i decided to make it 5 out of 7. it worked, slowly i added another day and now i've been within range for the last 2 weeks.

i'm not saying i've got this food thing down pat. God knows every day i wonder if today i'll overeat or worse...binge, but i truly believe that allowing myself 2 days to go over on calories if necessary, gave me the courage to attempt for 6 and then 7 days without worrying if i'd fail or not. hell...just being able to stay in my range 5 days a week was already an awesome accomplishment for me so if i couldn't stay in my range for the other 2 days...i was certainly ok with it.

so here i am...13 lbs lighter, feeling good about myself and what i've accomplished in 5 weeks and know that i'm moving in the right direction!