God, I need a break please!

life sure has a lot of bad blows it can hit you with, I have focused so much of my time and efforts on my son helping him and he is doing so great. I just hope I am around years from now to see more. The emergency trip to the eye doctors was horrifying. Optic nerve is swollen loss of eye site .. all the possibilities it could be. getting blood work today and see another specialist next friday. trying not to let Matt or my other kids see how scared I am. Off to the vampires....

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I hope your eyes are ok.

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They did blood work the doctors think it could be cat scratch disease that is the main disease they are testing for. It only attacked my left eye. I played with a cat at the people's house I care for their Dad for many years. I did get scratched playing we have always played this way.. most people who get CSD don't get this sick. I get to be the rare percentage.. if that is what it is. They tested for Lyme disease and Toxoplasmosis as well. If those come back negative they will do a CT and MRI to test for MS and or a tumor .. Its just freaky as all get out. Now I am going back to bed, not supose to strain my eyes. The diagnoisis right now is Papilledema.

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My prayers are with you i can honestly kinda relate becuase couple of weeks ago i accidently put super glue in my left eye and it was horrible i thought i will never get my sight back so please stay strong have faith and live everything in god hands and am pretty
sure that he also have plans for you.

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I hope everything turns out ok for you with your eyesight. Well my husband is paralyzed and we have a 10 year old. I was and still am scared every day. Because what he cant do for himself i am solely responsible for. I also have epilepsy and grand mal seizures. Maybe if you feel comfortable talk to him about how you are scared. I wrote down, short and quick, a list of what i wanted to say to him about my fears for myself in the future and how we could work through those together. Just remember he knows you very well and i was astonished what came out of his mouth as a reaction. Honesty sometimes is the best way. I did this in my own time when I was ready. It took him out of his own head for a while. Hope that makes sense. Anyway. take care.

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I must agree... do not hide your fear.. it sets up an unreasonable expectation for them later in life thinking that you cannot be afraid as an adult...

He knows you are strong.. it will also be good for him to know that he is needed as well and can be strong for you...

I hope your eyes are ok... please take care...

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Fear they see... its the total meltdowns I am not letting them see.... I over fret and that doesn't do me any good and it certainly puts undo stress on teenagers. We have talked about everything and Matt has helped out more by learning how to put Jeans on himself .. OMggoooodness that is such a help to me. They taught him the side to side wiggle to lean over and almost touch the floor with one hand and yank them up with the other... Shorts he had down... and he can get dressed in bed but not with out someone getting his clothes for him so learning this has made him much much more independant and keeps me from the head butts I was getting when he would do a pressure lift and fling his head back...lol I want to say my left eye seems some better just a titch from the antibiotics but something else isn't right.. I hurt.. ever fiber and gland from my shoulders up HURT.. the fatigue is nasty. Now I know when your sick this happens but man its kicking my butt. I tried to go to the renagars flea market with two of my older kids as Matt had a buddy over and didn't want everyone around he wanted to just have a normal fun visit so we left him alone....Right now he is Jousting out front with his Steel helmit on and a large double handed sword his buddy pushing him and they are stabbing large targets... Not live ones..lol I can't watch much, I get to freaked out but hey your not a kid unless you get a bruise or cut once in ahwile. Just as long as they don't mess up his baclofen pump. Any way I walked the market and just could not do it. My joints my back my hips ache like having the most intense flu you have ever had plus 1000 times worse with out feeling sick to your stomach.... I guess God is telling me get your butt to bed and rest. I had to work today though and promised I would vacate..lol Hope to hear about the results soon.. they should be in tomorrow but I don't see the doc till friday so not sure if he will call me or just wait till I go in.

ON the other end of the spectrum.. Matt is getting NEW KAFO's. Leather straps on the upper legs and all black this time. The other company... who sucks at making braces Hanger Orthotics would not remold Matt's braces he wore them 5 times these are the ones the shriners paid for for him and they made them wrong they didn't fit at all no matter how many strap you put on them bone doesn't bend backwards..lol They didn't want to own up to their mistakes so we said forget it. I would rather pay for some than deal with those horrible people again. Off to rest... Thanks for the Advice everyone.. I really do appreciate everything you all say~

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Diagnosis............. Optic Neuritis with symptoms manifesting as MS

I was taken by ambulance to the hospital with total fatigue couldn't move well on my own. My arms legs and spine burn like there is acid in them. CT scan normal. Blood work normal. They are doing a MRI with contrast sometime next week. Still on antibiotics they have seemed to bring the swelling in my optic nerve down. Doc said yesterday swelling has decreased. They gave me valum for the nerve pain. This pain could be related to my eye or to the spinal compression I have had for a few years from a car accident. I'm on fire especially my arms. If I keep them moving I am ok a little but if I stop it's blinding the pain is so intense...to type is like I have ran a marathon... Hoping for answers this next week.. Doc said it's possible we might not get any..just a fluke thing....i said I have much experience with idiopathic health issues this past year with Matt. What a weekJJJ

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