Im a HORRIBLE person.

So my sister in law is in the hospital being induced. We used to be such good friends, but since the start of this we dont even talk- in part because of the complete and totally insensitive way she told me part, part the helpless "oh im pregnant i cant do anything" part her just always being a princess...but none the less i have tried to be supportive...i even helped throw her shower- and constantly asking for updates...it got to the point where they would whisper talking about it, but then i felt like it was shoved in my face everytime I was around. I have a daughter who is almost 7...in the time i was pregnant I A; left my childs father as he became abusive, and it is said i miscarried her twin due to this, B; worked TWO full time stressful positions, where i aquired PERMANENT back injuries, and C; had only myself to look out for me...not to mention that i had a complicated pregnancy...but she, who has had 0 issues, cant even pack a box, or lift a lawn chair at 6 WEEKS because shes pregnant...it infuriates me. Not to mention that i was hurt she didnt even ask me to be there...she hasnt talked to me since her shower besides two days ago to ask if her father didnt take her step son, if i would....what the hell....AND i put something on facebook about how excited I was to be starting the IVF process, and all I get is "well you should be excited about having a new nephew"...why is and has everything ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT HER... I know there is a slight amount of jealousy...but is her that bugs me...she does no wrong in anyones eyes...even my DH its so hard when I try expressing why I am upset, and all I get is "well its jealousy" ummm no my mother, and some of my friends see how she is...apparently not my DH or his family...anyways now i see all these people posting about "hurry up and have this baby" or "waiting for my best friends baby" and it makes me soooo mad, I feel like such an awful person, i truly do...but is it horrible that even though i put on a smiley face and say...oh keep me updated, that in all actuality I couldnt care less?? My heart actually hurts because I feel this way...

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She sounds like a turd. "you should be excited about having a new nephew"...news flash, you are having the kid, not me. My SIL got on my damn nerves. She oopsed my nephew after proclaiming neither one of them wanted a kid...ugggghhh.

I'm on your side, she's a turd.

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I think her actions and behavior is not supportive and I would block her from your facebook posts. Sometimes you have to cut people out of your life. It's a new year and a fresh start--you are better going forward without her in your life. Good luck with your IVF...I start my injections on Friday!

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I would say you definitely aren't a horrible person, but it sounds like she's acting like one. Her post of "you should be excited about having a new nephew" was really insensitive and not supportive, and showed no validation for what you're going through right now. It sounds like she believes life only evolves around her. Sorry you have to deal with somebody like that.

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Thank you... But I still feel awful, this is not me...I am not that way...she just makes it so Damn impossible to be happy for her.

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Well she just had her son, I was sent several pictures...about an HOUR after DH was....and I have been crying ever since....real good person I am. Yes, Im having a pity party....

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Since you've helped with the shower and have been asking after the pregnancy regularly it definitely sounds like you're doing more than your fair share. Especially considering what you have and are going through. It took all my nerve just to attend a colleague's baby shower a few months ago. But to work up the nerve to help organize the shower definitely means you deserve an award. As you and others have said your SIL is a self-centered princess who lacks empathy. And you are an incredibly strong person who deserves it.

And it can be hard dealing with family. My FIL has always had a bit of stubborn jerk streak in him. However as he's gotten older his stubborn jerk streak towards my DH has gotten worse. And when DH goes to his mother asking for help in dealing with him all she says is "Oh, it's your father, he's always been that way." So I don't have any suggestions on how to make your DH and his family see the light on your SIL, but know that you're not alone in dealing with impossible family members.

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She's a horrible, self-centered bitch! Don't feel bad, stay as far away as possible for your sanity!

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Im trying to...but now its a big fight because I didnt want to go to the hospital. I will plaster a happy face on, but not today.....today i need to cry and cry and cry......

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The worst part is DH went to the hospital and has NO idea why Im upset. But my six year old was able to pin point it, sat and just hugged me and dont worry mommy your going to have another baby...it will be ok. And then she said I know your sad mommy and just sat there with me hugging me....

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So sorry you have to deal with that. I'm in the same situation. SIL is pregnant even though we have been TTC longer then them. She too is a selfish princess that gets everything she wants. I hate unsupportive people. I say, stay away from your evil SIL. You don't need that negativity in your life. Good Luck

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I hear ya sista. My SIL is also "all about her". Fortunately, her and my bro never brought a child into the marriage, which is going downhill right now. But either way, I can relate........my daughter is four, and she notices how sad I get when friends and others announce they are prego with #2, 3 or 4. And she constantly prays that God will "put another baby in Mommy's tummy." I almost cried when I read your post about your daughter hugging you and telling you it's going to be okay. ((((((((HUGS)))))))) .......because it WILL be okay, one way or another......

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Well, i went and visited her in the hospital today...showered them both with gifts.... I have cried for about three days, so i thought I had it all out of my system. I didn't. As i was holding him i guess i said my thoughts out loud.... I said "as adorable as you are, this hurts my heart so" and then when i realized i said it, I looked up and MY SIL was just looking at me... I blamed it on AF which is due any day now....

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You know, maybe it was a good thing she heard you say that. Maybe she got a small glimpse of how hard it was for you to come.

I'm very sorry you're dealing with such insensitive people, it complicates already hurtful matters that much more. :(

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