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I hope you realise how important this site is to me...

StickiVicki
  • By StickiVicki
  • Posted July 4, 2009 at 4:25 pm · 19 replies
  • Shared with the public
0 Recommendations

...as it is the one site that I really feel as though I belong, and that anyone is listening and communicating with me!

I started a group on a British website macmillan.org.uk for people with Stage IV breast cancer who are also trying to look on the more positive side of things. I have posted 13 discussions and had two replies. I have pretty much decided it is a waste of my time as I just seem to be communicating with a void in cyber space. I know that there are people reading the postings - but nothing in return! What is the point of coming on these sites if you don't want to contribute anything?

I have always felt as though I have been an outsider all my life and I have been very lonely all my life. So thank you ladies for brightening up my life and finally making me feel as though I belong. Vicki XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Explore topics in this journal entry and replies:

Cancer Lung cancer Breast cancer

19 replies

faithmena

Oh StickiVicki,
I wish I was your neighbor, I would go over and we could have a nice cup of tea and chat. I am sorry you have been very lonely all your life that's just unfair. But looking at the bright side you are no longer alone and your opinion is valued. I value your posts and admire your positive attitude. This is my favorite support site , I also have tried posting on other sites but never got the validation I received here. The women here are truly special and I am glad we found each other. Not sure what time it's in the UK but have a good night
cheers

Groovygirlcool

"I hope you realise" that if I don't reply to THIS post I'm going to have a guilty attack!!!!!

'Just joking there Joyce' - none of us want to be alone or lonely - we're pack animals by nature- and just need to be needed and hopefully loved and valued - not too much to ask is it?!

Maybe your fellow Britons are a tad shy or reserved, who knows- stick with this crew- very good value I reckon!!

Oh EXCEPT you Miss Darcey-of-the-Moors, that is - hope all is well in Bronte Country : )

xxxGGC

lynnwv

Vicki,
I love this site too!! I'm also very glad you are here. I loved reading your post about walking the 5K and gardening, it was inspirational. I feel that way about so many of the folks on this site.

Isn't it wonderful that we have one another? Sometimes it's hard too, when we have to say goodbye to a friend, but it's worth it to know each of our fellow fighters.

Blessings,

ious1Tjed6247

Vicki,

Belonging is fundamental. It is paramount to everything and you are. Your sense of self is criticial to your sense of purpose. YOU definately have a sense of self and purpose dear lady!
YOU belong and are accepted unconditionally here.

I think the Brits are just reserved, they tend to push the old emotions down a tad. Especially when it comes to the "C" word. Am I wrong? I don't know if they get up on TV and stand on a soap box raising the bar for other commrades. (Like Michal Fox does for Parkinsons', etc.) Do they? Clue me cause I could just be clueless here.

Have a great day.....just because :)

Ious

Beachbabe

Vicki, you not only found a place where you belong, but you are most assuredly one of the 'faces' I'm happy to see when checking in on updates!

I ran into a gal yesterday who is a rah rah cheerleader and support giver for MS patients. She looked at me earnestly and started going on with her speech about the need of joining a support group etc. (She has no idea what I've been doing since diagnosis). I finally said to her, "Look, I am reading the same book you are. Support is absolutely necessary when tackling something this big. But I've found that an online support group I've joined is my lifeline, and seriously provides all I need 24/7." And she wanted to tell me online wasn't the same as face-to-face but I would have none of that....because I have shared some of the most heartfelt conversations with those of you online whom I haven't met. AND I've had the fabulous good fortune to meet many of you...and meeting you confirmed what I already knew...we are soul sisters.

Big hugs to you Lady Vicki~

XX00

TellMeWhy

Hey Ms. StickiVicki,

We all go through periods were we feel like the "square peg in the round hole" . God knows I've felt that way most of my life. Guess what????? Who cares!!!! We all dance to a different beat, even if we are the only ones who hear the music.

Ladies of this board. I may not respond to every posting, but you are all in my heart and my prayers.

Linda

hillbillygirl

hi ladies, I may not comment on your post everytime but i read everyword. Other than my family you are my greatest source of support. may god bless and keep all and esp. you who post and keep us going. mary/hiibilly girl

StickiVicki

My comment was directed at the British site not at the ladies on this site who are very proactive. I have tried posting on the UK site and got 1 reply from someone who said that she hoped someone would come along to give me some support - then nothing! What I love about this site is that you get a response and it is a very vibrant community. Sorry if you thought I was talking about folks here.

hillbillygirl

I don,t think anyone took it that way. your comments just made us want to let this site and members know how great they are to keep this site up todate all the time. the new picture i added is me and my 87 year old mother who tries to take care of me when i will let her. thanks mary

Shanti

Dear Vicki,

I was so moved by one of your recent postings that I went and read all of your old postings to see if I had missed anything else so special. I feel a very strong bond with you as I see you as someone who feels and thinks deeply and is willing to share your ideas, thoughts and experiences. I don't always post back when I read something that inspires or moves me as I might be in a down mood or not feeling well or whatever. You are important to me on this site and I bless the ones who seem able to keep the ball bouncing. Sometimes I am just home following the bouncing ball and singing along by myself. (Are some of the younger readers thinking, what bouncing ball is she talking about?) When I was young it was common to have the words to a song put up on a screen one line at a time and a bouncing ball would light on each word as the melody moved along. It all began with the instruction, Just Follow the Bouncing Ball. So even if I don't post every time, just know that I am singing in my heart with every word of hope, humor and humanity that you are all so generous to share.

sr2603

Hey Sticki: I always read your postings and WORDS OF WISDOM for us gals. Hang in here and be happy.

Hugs.

Sharon.

chainsawz

Vicki, I too love to read your posts and feel a bond with you and all the other women on this site even if I never meet any of you face to face. I never feel alone either with this site - what a wonderful gift all of you are to me :>

mouthymomma

StickiVicki,
Thanks for being so honest. Loneliness sucks. I'm glad that you've found a "home" here.

This is a really unique place. I found myself fantasizing this morning about eventually getting my own property on Spider Lake and holding a retreat for all my girls on this site. I will put that out to the universe and dream.

There are so many women who are so faithful to post and reply to other's posts, and let me just give them big props. I'm a bit more fickle, but am so glad this site is here.

blanche149

Hey StickiVicki, I'm glad you're sticking with us!
I, too, find this website a tremendous support almost every day. (I'm not so handy at getting on the web on weekends, so I miss replying promptly to posts like this one from you.)
I especially enjoy your posts, with your decidedly British touch. It's great to be able to share thoughts almost instantly with people so far away.
Your feeling of "being an outsider" definitely strikes a nerve with me. I especially felt that way growing up. As my life progressed and I defined my own character, I realized that being part of the "in" crowd is not necessarily a great thing. I have learned to value myself more by realizing that I am an independent person and not bound by trying to fit into a particular format.
I see you as a very strong and independent person - two characteristics to value highly. I agree with others on this site - if you lived near me, I think we could become very good friends.
Blanche

kleighk

Vicki, the first time you posted I felt a connection to you. I have felt lonely and out of place most of my life, especially when I was around a bunch of people. I never seemed to fit in because I was not willing to fake something to fit in. That's what I like about this site--it's so real and honest. When you get to the point in life where we all are- where we have to face our own mortality- things that are incredibly important and earth shattering to most people are not that important to us. I don't care what kind of car you drive, or where you go shopping, but I do care about how you felt after your last tx and what happened with your last dr appt., or especially how you saw a pair of birds soaring overhead and it hit you down deep how truly wonderful and awesome this earth is that we live on, and what's really important is our family and friends.

Sorry for rambling on---it's late and I'm feeling the effects of my zometa tx last week. But, that's the joy of this site. You guys understand and listen. Thanks, Karyn

Deanie

Vicki, like those who have already posted, I have been found your humor, passion and knowledge such an asset to this site and look forward to your posts.

I was offline for the last 2 days. My sister-in-law is transitioning with lung cancer and our days have been spent at the hospital. One of life's little ironies is that I found out that her onc is the same as mine. Since none of my husband's family knows of my dx, the moment he walked into the room was awkward for him, me and my husband...oops!

We got home at 2am and I needed my "fix" of Inspire.com. Tomorrow when all of the children get to STL, they will turn off the ventilator. It will be a hard day but people like you are my release valve and help me stay hopeful on days like this. Thank you.

Dreamy

Vicki, I was the loner thoughout school and work too. I love these sites that dont care if you are rich, pretty, smart, or whatever. Average is good. I finally feel comfortable with average. Then I found these extra-ordinary friends and average wasnt good enough. I want to be like you and all the others on this site. I want to be extra-ordinary like you.

StickiVicki

The fact that you are here makes you extraordinary! We are all looking for inspiration to take on this challenge and give it a really good run for its money. We are none of us prepared to give up in the face of a problem or two, and whether we are having a good day, or a bad one, there is still that little spark of determination that we can go on. Bernie Siegel started groups of ECap patients, Exceptional Cancer patients, I think this may be the biggest ECap group of all!

Even on my lowest day that spark never leaves me for long. I have plugged away at life and I don't intend to give up yet.

edaura

I'm another lover of this site, although I haven't done a whole lot of posting latley. My family is in crisis right now with my dad just being diagnosed with lung cancer. it's been a whirlwind. But i do read these postings and feel fortunate to be a part o this great site. sorry the site with the UK didn't work out, the heck with them...you have us and we love ya.
expect miracles
laura

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