July 19th thru 24th

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Last Saturday I went to go see my friend in the hospital. She was still in "progressive care". When I walked in I could tell she was not well. Her breakfast tray was untouched and by the door instead of by her bed. She was struggling when she inhaled, and her abdomen was huge. Her skin was very discolored and she would not respond to me. She could mumble yes or no, but could not lift her head or keep her eyes open. I was there for about an hour, called her family and told them I was worried. Finally the doctor came in to do his rounds.

He said she had looked bad on Friday night, but looked worse now. He agreed something needed to be done and he called her other doctors. They decided to do dialysis again and to draw some of the fluid off of her abdomen again. They continually have to do both.

I left to take my husband lunch, and came back in an hour. Her bed was there and her room was spotless. She was no longer assigned that room and they had moved her to CV ICU (Cardio vascular ICU). They have now increased her to daily dialysis and more frequent drawing of fluid off of her abdomen. The last round of fluid they took off of her abdomen showed cancer cells in the fluid. They still do not know why her kidneys are fully failed. The renal doctor seems to have hope that the kidneys will again function at some point. The other two doctors are very doubtful.

She is now alert again, and can talk. The toxins that build up make her sick, but then she fights back after dialysis. She realizes the prognosis is bad, but more than anything, she hopes her kidneys will start to function again so that she can at least go home for a little while.

Our friend called tonight and the doctor shared that she has germ cell ovarian cancer and obviously a removal of a very large melon sized tumor. We have known it was ovarian cancer, but never really knew what type or what to call it. The research I have done on germ cell with such a large tumor is scary. If only her kidneys would start functioning, we would feel like her body might be strong enough to fight. My ex husband survived cancer after chemo and radiation. I have seen it work... but we need kidneys.

Her family has moved her belongings into storage because she can no longer work. Miracles can happen. We are praying for the best but trying to prepare for the long road ahead. The balance of hope mixed with reality weighs heavy on the minds of all of us who love and care about her.

If anyone knows of anyone who has had full kidney / renal failure after the removal of a tumor, and has any insight, please let me know.

Thank you all and I am sorry to be so down.

6 replies

Hi Lori,

My heart goes out to you and your friend. Don't apologize for being down. You have every reason to be sad. There is always the chance of a miracle so don't give up hope. But you know that your friend is in very critical condition.

The most important thing you can do for your friend right now is to just be there for her. When she is strong enough to talk take your cues from her as to what she wants to talk about. If she is too weak for conversation just sit with her and hold her hand when you can. The touch of a friend is a very healing thing!

My thoughts and prayers are with you both! Please keep us up to date on how things are going. And just deal with the present now you both have enough on your plates. God Bless!! Eileen

One of the ladies in a support groups I began attending a few months ago had kidney failure as a result of one of her chemo regimens after surgery. She's in her 70's or 80's. Her kidneys did begin to function again.

You and your friend are in my prayers. Thank goodness y'all got help for her!

Blessings,
Verlinda

Hi Eileen,

Thank you for your kind words. The feeling of hopelessness and relinquishment of control are still tough for me. I have always been solution oriented, and a "fixer".

I see that you are a nurse, but you yourself have been diagnosed with cancer. Are you doing okay? You have the internet obviously, so hopefully you are at home right now? I will remember you in my prayers as well.

I watch the nurses in my friend's room, and I am sure they are not told thank you enough. Being a nurse means truly devoting your life and many emotions to others. Thank you for your sacrafices and for taking the time to repond. I deeply appreciate it.

Lori

Hi Verlinda,

Thank you for your response. My friend has not yet started any chemotherapy. She has been too sick. She had the melon sized tumor removed and after surgery, her kidneys simply have never started working again. They do not know why.

They are thinking of starting chemo now. They do not know enough about this form of cancer, so are going to try to inject chemo directly into her abdomen to see if they can stop the liquid from forming on her abdomen. The liquid that forms has cancer cells in it, so they are hoping that if they inject chemo into her abdomen, they can slow the cancer down.

I am wondering if slowing the cancer cells might also help her kidneys to rebound? At least that is our hope.

She looked really good today, amazingly. A week ago we thought she could leave us at any time. One day at a time... sometimes one minute at a time. ;-)

I read your profile and appreciate the information you shared. My friend has a daughter who is 13. Hopefully with some of the new genetic tests, we can make sure this is a one time occurrence, not a cycle.

Thank you so much and I hope your pain behind your ribs improves.

Lori

Lori,

You're quite welcome. The rib pain is better, thanks.

My geneticist said they will not test a daughter just because her mother or father has had cancer. I had to describe several family members and their cancers before they would even counsel, much less test me.

The geneticist also said they don't recommend testing until, I think, the late teens. If your friend has several in her family who've had cancer--sibling, parents, aunts and uncles count--it would be best to test her. If she tests positive for an inherited genetic mutation, then the daughter would be tested. If she tested negative, unless her husband has several close relatives with cancer, testing for the daughter wouldn't be indicated.

For example, my father was one of seven; six of whom had cancer. The seventh, an older full sister, died in her 90's of old age and Alzheimer's. What I'd really like to know is what genes she had that kept her healthy! Let me know if I can provide any more information.

Hi Lori,

Thank you so much for your prayers and support. The kind support of our family and friends are what helps Tom and I stay afloat now.

I hope your friend continues to improve and I will keep you both in my prayers! I know it is so hard to see a loved one suffer and not be able to do more for them. I don't know of a more frustrating situation. I know what you mean about wanting to go out and fix things and not being able to do so. The loss of control has been the hardest thing for me to deal with too.

Yes, I am at home and we have computer and internet access. Our son, Dave, works in computers so we have 24 hour tech support. If we have a problem, we just call Dave. It certainly makes it nice!

I retired in May of 2004 after 42 years in nursing. It was a very interesting career and I met a lot of really great people from all over the world. I do miss the people now, but not the paper work!

My cancer diagnosis came in October of 2006. I have had surgery and chemo and had an 11 month remission. I do have a recurrence now and am back on chemo but the most recent scans show that I have stable disease, at least for now. I also have a very aggressive form of endometrial cancer and my oncology surgeon was surprised that we were able to achieve a remission at all. So don't give up hope for your friend even when you hear grim statistics because each individual case is different. Hang tough, Lori! God Bless! Love, Eileen

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