A waste of money

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I hate it when I meet with people who say they can help me and after I've met with them, it becomes obvious I know more than they do. And, in this last case that though he asked for a three day food diary & I sent that, along with a link to the GP diet, & some other explanatory materials, he didn't even make the effort to read those - well he read the food diary, those pages were all marked up.

This was the guy I take the meditation classes from - and he had made a suggestions before that helped my GERD go away (I'm still on the 2 nexium & 1 Zantac, but I'd been having constant breakthrough hell for months) -- and it was as easy as dring several cups of hot water a day. I lulled myself with false hope that he might actually know something that could help.

But instead of telloing me things that would expand my options he wanted to limit them even further. But at the same time, he was telling me to go back to three meals a day at amounts that I suppose aren't really huge but are just way more than I can eat anymore. And when I eat "big" meals they digest so slowly that they cause hypoglycemic crashes. This is really a bad idea.

For breakfast he wanted me to have a cup of quinoa with dried figs, a slice of spelt toat with ghee, 1/2 a grapefruit, and 2 scoops of this stuff called Sustain in water. Then lunch, another cup of quinoa with mixed vegetables, more spelt bread & ghee, and a cup of Dal (lentil soup), then dinner more quinoa & spelt toast & another 2 scoops of Sustain. That's a HUGE amount of, boring, food. Not to mention that the last time I had lentils I was in extreme pain for two weeks! I haven't really even tried any non-babyfood veggies other than sweet potatoes & mashed potatoes since I've been diagnosed, grapefruit is wrong on many levels with GP & GERD, and that Sustain stuff would cost $70 every two weeks & has 3 grams of fiber in it (He gave me a jar - though I suspect it was part of the price of the consult - he cost more than my doctor!). Don't figs have skin on them? I do eat quinoa (it's a complete protein by itself, 23 grams a cup & easy to digest), but in smaller amounts, and I don't want it all day, every day.

Oh, and he told me that I wasn't to eat anything with a mother, wheat, dairy, potatoes, or rice. Why on earth would I stop eating things I've figured out that I can eat?

Then the appointment ended in a way that creeped me out. As far as I could tell we were the only two in the building (Saturday appointment), & he kept telling me that I needed to call or e-mail him throughout the week, and to come back for more classes & Sunday meditation sessions, saying that I needed supportive compainions on my spiritual journey, then he hugged me for way longer than was comfortable & kissed my forehead.

I have one more meditation class left. I'm not even sure I want to go back for that now, though there will be others there. On the one hand I do, it's a good class & I think it's helping, but on the other hand, that really wierded me out.

I told him I'm not coming on Sunday - I go to Sunday School & Church & it's important to me. My friends through church are very supportive of me. And though I had been considering taking a yoga class there, I think I'll find a class somewhere else.
I just wish this creepy fiasco hadn't cost so much money.

Am I over-reacting?

5 replies

JoAllison - I am sorry that you are in this situation, but you have to trust your instincts. Women are taught to doubt themselves or to blame themselves in these situations. If he made you feel creepy then a line was crossed. I wish I could say that this has never happened to me, but it has. I had an oncologist cross the line during an exam & I only had 3 more rounds of chemo & didn't want to (really couldn't) change MDs at the time. But you can be certain that I was never alone with him ever again. And yes, every time I had to pay for a visit, my skin crawled.

Trust your gut! (no pun intended)

Tracie

JoAllison,
I agree with Tracie...trust you gut instinct. That is definitely weird that he acted that way. He may just be a touchy, feely type person but even they need to learn the appropriate times for that behavior.
As for the diet plan...it makes me nauseaus just reading it. Of course, I'm so set in my ways and I am very picky about trying new foods. I would never give up the few foods that I can eat most of the time without getting too sick. Potatoes would never leave my plan as they are my "security" food most of the time.
I hope that you can find some answers somewhere else.
Judy

Hey JoAllison-
I ditto what Judy and Tracie said. Might be time to find a new meditation and yoga class! It sounds to me like he is taking advantage of the fact that you are looking for answers and he thought you needed "extra" support...a number of women might have fallen prey to his advances thinking he really cared about them and maybe have in the past unfortunately.

There are good, legitimate meditation teachers out there and sometimes it takes awhile to find them. I am so sorry that you had such an awful experience and it sure doesn't sound like you over reacted. And his diet sounds ridiculous!!! Obviously, he doesn't know anything about GERD or GP-stick with what you know works for you. Good luck finding better classes!! Take care-Mariann

Thanks for your reinforcement. I knew what I felt, but I'd been obsessing about the meeting for so long I had to step outside of myself - get outside nonobsessive opinions - in order to calm down & just do what my gut says. (I used to work with prison inmates; my "manipulation warning bell" is pretty sensitive, I pick up on it pretty quick & get wary. My obsessing comes in from trying to be "fair" to people - the two impulses war with each other.)

I didn't go to class tonight. I will still use what he taught me about meditation because I believe it has helped my internal shakes to go away (that & the supplements/getting caught up on nutrients), but I can continue my meditation practice on my own.
Jo

JoAllison.

I'm sorry you had to go through this latest trial. No I don't think you were obsessing. You just needed to vent in a safe environment. You're a very intelligent woman and I applaud you for dropping the class, but keeping the meditation knowledge. And about the diet, your body knows what it can and can't eat. I have found this site and the knowledge of all on it, is more informative than my doctors. Please take care, Cathy

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