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I'm going to confess...

FrankClem
  • By FrankClem
  • Posted January 3, 2009 at 5:25 am · 37 replies
  • Shared with the public
2 Recommendations

OK. I'm going to get a lot of slack for this and, well, I should. I deserve it. Are you ready?
I can't seem to kick the cigarette habit. While I can do it for weeks at a time, I always end up back on them, thinking that I can have one, which then turns into a couple of days. Since all of this began, I've quit about ten times. Today is another day and I'm quitting once again. I put the patch on and I'm swearing to myself that I'm never going to have another one. I'm so frustrated. With the progress I've made since this all began, I'm not understanding why I haven't learned a lesson. Also, I'm wondering if I'm just not using the right method.

After you all yell at me, can someone give me some ideas as to how they finally succeeded in kicking the habit?

Thanks everyone!
~Frank

Explore topics in this journal entry and replies:

Exercise Cancer Surgery Chantix Wellbutrin Anxiety Lung cancer Acupuncture Stress

37 replies

pattyp1

hey, Frank,
I don't yell at people I adore.
so....you slipped.....
that's what forgiveness and love are for
you have my support whether you slip or not
....but I'd prefer you didn't smoke......it killed my daddy and I don't want it to take anyone else.....
hugs, brother
Pat

Wennot

Frank,

I think it Mark Twain who said "It's easy to quit smoking, I've done it a thousand times."

The gum worked for me. It was more instantly gratifying than the patch. Sometimes I would put 2 pieces of gum in my mouth at the same time - it's still less nicotine that a cigarette.
Deep breaths always help me with cigarette cravings, too.
Some people say they have had good success with quitter's websites and hotlines.
Don't get down on yourself, today is a new day, and could well be the day you quit for good!
Wennot

rferrick

Hello my friend. I was convinced that I could never quit. Before this disease I tried it all. Patches, acupuncture, chantix but it was being told I had LC that made me put them down and I never did it again. You can do it. put your mind to other things when the cravings start. Hang in there ;)

karilynn

Hey there Frank. I never knew how terrible an addiction cigs. were until I saw my Mom trying to quit..... She did and I know you can also. She used Chantix... good luck!

Kari

TonyLS

Hi Frank
Doubt anyone of who has smoked will yell at you - been there too you know. I quit as soon as I was diagnosed withthe help of the patch - and fear! Would you consider seeing your Doc. & talk about one of these new medicines available by Rx?
Good luck &
Prayers for all of us!!
TonyLS

jadams

I deserve 40 lashes witht the same whip. Just to update I am on hospice, no more treatment for me so I'm just here wondering from day to day. I get so down sometimes that the anti-anxiety doesn't do the trick and I reach for a cig thinking what the hell? What's it gonna do now? But I don't even want it that's what gets me. Never finish the whole thing.
I should mention that I had quit a year prior to DX using chantix. I guess it's the stress that does it cause I went back on the chantix for a month right after DX and symtoms disappeared.
I've had 2 people I know personally pass away from SCLC recently, one being yesterday, and it's hard not to just say what the hell.
Hang in there, take one day at a time.
Huggs
Julie

FrankClem

Hi,
No excuses here, but I live with someone who mokes. While I don't have to smoke because someone else does, it sure doesn't help that cigarettes are in the house. Still, no excuse.

I am coming forward, though, and admitting it. This website means enough to me so that I wanted to come out here and fess up in hopes that someone has an answer. No one really has one though, and I should know that by now. The answer lies within me and I just have to find it.

Thanks everybody!
~Frank

Gretchen

Frank, I quit 41 years ago, before there were patches or gum or anything. (And I'm on this site because I have NSCLC Stage IV) I did it with self-hypnosis. I'm not saying it was easy -- it was the hardest damn thing I've ever done. A couple weeks before I quit I made a couple of lists. One was of all the people I knew who had quit -- if they could do it, damn it, so could I! The other was a list of all the things I didn't like about smoking, like the smell, the film on the windows, yellow fingers, etc., etc. -- just all the stuff you can think of. The list would be much longer now that we know more about second hand smoke, etc. When the day finally came I washed all the ashtrays and put them away. For about 6 months I kept a carton up on a shelf just in case -- I didn't want to get desperate. When things got tough I did a relaxation exercise and got out my lists and had a cup of tea (coffee and alcohol were too closely associated with cigarettes) and went out for a walk. It's SO HARD! Good luck!
Gretchen

FrankClem

From this point on, NO SMOKING for me. Gretchen, I like your idea of getting ourselves involved in the quitting. I also hope that you're doing well. Thanks for the advice everyone. I have a question for you.

Do you think that your lung cancer was contributed by your smoking so many years ago?

peyz33

Frank - YOU HAVE THE ANSWER - you know that - none of us can tell you HOW to do it - I was scared shitless and quit the day they told me I had Lung Cancer - I realized then it was MENTAL - so - my point is (you know there is always a point) it's MENTAL - the actual nicotine addicition takes 72 hours to break the rest my love is in your mind. We love you anyway - and it is VERY hard to live with someone who smokes - oy - they aren't terrified yet??? Maybe try together - what a concept! I used the patch - but it did not work 100% because I loved smoking and in my mind didn't really want to quit - you have to WANT TO quit in order to do it. I pray for you my friend - I love any way - smoker or not - would rather you didn't - but acceptance is a big part of this site and how we must live now with this monster in our presence. Praying for you buddy!!!!
Karen

SuzzieQ

Frank, I can relate... I have quit a thousand times!
Everytime the stress gets too much... I have "just a half" (who am I kidding). Have two boxes of patchs sitting on the counter...(have used them before and seemed to help). Now I'm telling myself...as soon as the PET is over (Wed) and I will forsure before my surgery (Jan.17th).

Good luck... I know you can do it!!!! as I will. Let us know how you are doing.

Saying a prayer.
Sue

Isunique

Frank
My husband used accupuncture (3 pack a day), I used the Chantix. I didn't quit until I got the DX. I had quit twice before, but fell off the wagon for many reasons. I have been smoke free for almost a year now (Feb 16th). I still want a smoke and from time to time want to run over to someone I see smoking and grab the cig and take a big drag...but I don't. I figure if taking a drag doesn't kill me my friends and family would, esp my better half. Take care, don't beat yourself up, it will happen when you are ready.

Sarah

sisabella

Hey man no one's perfect. Up until a few days ago I was taking a puff every now and again from someone's cigarette that was smoking. So who would I be to judge. I will say that I am not smoking now and that is a good thing, I am using the pill (whatever it's medical name is) and it seems to be doing the trick. I will say I do sometimes get cravings to have one but fight it for a little while and then it goes away. I don't think there is a magic key to doing this just a whole lot of will power. I wish you luck in quitting and hope it sticks this time.

Scott

jh2467

I quit 16 years ago, with the patch, (16 years before my dx) it was the hardest thing I every did in my life, at the time my husband smoked and it made it harder, (although he stopped smoking in the house and my car, and was considerate of my quitting) but i was determined. I had to realize it wasn't just the cigs, it was the habit, I had to change the way I did things. I did it one day at a time, sometimes a minute at a time, sometimes a second. Even years, and years later I still craved a cig, but I knew that one would never be enough. I have never been one of those ex smokers who judged others. You need to be strong, and do it for yourself. I don't think anyone on this sight will judge you, most of us have been where you are at. There are new things on the market since I quit, talk to your doctor, I am sure he will help you. Hang in there, and be strong.

skeptic

Frank, since I have NEVER smoked I have no idea just how truely addictive tobacco is. But, having said that... every time you quit is just that much less tobacco you have smoked!!!!!!
Best of luck to you. YOU CAN do this!!!

barbaray

Frank, I tried and tried and tried to quit smoking. Finally I went once a week to a Nicotine Anonymous group, and managed then to quit.

Why? Everybody was "hard-core" there. They had tried more than once to stop. As I said in another post here, one member of the group, a man, used to ride the train every night for hours because there was no way he could smoke on it.

We would talk about "falling by the wayside" (again) and about how fierce the cravings were and how nothing, but nothing, could be worse than trying to stop smoking. A few people would cry when they talked, and I was one of them.

Eventually, eventually, and it took a while, I was able to stop. As others have written, it was awfully hard. (Others in the Nicotine Anonymous group all managed to quit also.)

I found it extremely helpful to meet with other sufferers every Sunday afternoon. When your surgery recovery is more complete, you might want to consider joining such a group. It works!
Meantime, all good wishes--

Barbara

Marg

Frank, I'm not a smoker, really never did, just played with cigs in college, trying to be cool....BUT I'm trying to lose weight, while helping Mike fight cancer. Actually, I had lost 65 lbs before he was diagnosed. In the last year, I gained 20 lbs back.

Tell you what, you quit smoking and I'll lose weight. Deal?

erinroro

Frank,
The time(s) I have quit smoking I have had the most success when I don't put myself in the place where I was used to smoking... So no coffee, and for me, NO COCKTAILS!!! I hated it! But I went for 3 months with not one glass of wine - but no cigarettes either. I got to where I could eventually have an occasional drink and not smoke. I now can even drink coffee!!! My husband still smokes, and it is really hard to be around that. But he smokes outside, or on the front porch, so I don't have to breathe in the smoke. He says that he bought his 'last' pack today....
I know that people who have either never smoked, or those who smoked but did not get addicted, find it hard to understand the pull those stupid cigs have.... I have heard that it is as difficult to quit smoking as it is to quit using heroin. I don't know if that is true, but I know that it sure feels like it is true when you are trying to quit.

Good luck buddy! Just remember, every day you go without a cig it is better for your lungs. (And saves $$ to boot!!)

Erin

Taffas

Hiya,

Get yourself a copy of the book 'The Easyway to stop smoking' by Allen Carr. You'll never look back :)

Good Luck...!

MagicWishes

FRANK!!!!!!!!FRANK!!!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?! AM I YELLING LOUD ENOUGH!!! YOU MUST BE AN.....ok, Frank, buddy, you know I'm kidding!!!

I know how tough quitting smoking is. I was a smoker until diagnosis. I still crave them.

Look Frank, YOU know as well as anyone that you need to quit. You don't need me, or anyone else to tell you that. For anyone to tell you to quit is crazy. What it really comes down to is the "want" to quit. I truly loved smoking - I still do. I would love to smoke a cigarette. But that is me. Let me tell you how I stopped for a year once:

I am a magician. I was attending a class taught by a world class magician - Jeff McBride. During break, I was outside smoking and Jeff stepped outside and saw me. He didn't say a word. When the class was over and everyone was leaving, he pulled me aside and asked his wife to get me a book from his case. The book was "Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking". He made sure that no one saw what he was doing. He inscribed the book, "To Scott, YOU CAN DO IT! Your friend for a longer life, Jeff McBride" he handed me the book and told me that up until 3 years prior, he had been a smoker and couldn't quit. He told me that the book had helped him quit. He told me he completely understood how I felt. He said it used to bother HIM when he would step out to smoke and people saw him. Someone gave him the book, and it changed his way of thinking. He said that only when I wanted to quit I would, never before. He was so kind and compassionate and I felt like a shit. I vowed to read the book. I did, and I quit for a year. A night at the bar changed that. That was in 2005. Move forward to 2008. I am in Las Vegas and Jeff invited my wife and me over to his house. We were both smokers at that point. When Jeff saw me smoking he didn't say a word, and as a matter of fact, followed me out to the ash tray in his back yard in order to finish giving me some advice, and he never alluded to the cigarette, but I felt like I had let him down. So, I vowed to re-read the book. I did, but I didn't quit. I loved the cigarettes too much. Through the years I told anyone who mentioned that they wanted to quit I would mention the book. It helped several people to quit. I would tell them about the book, but the copy I have is inscribed to me, so I would not lend it out.

Here is my offer to you my fellow rib-less friend. If you would like to read the book, I will send it to you. If it will help you, you can have it. I mean that Frank, I really do...and no pressure. Send me a private message if you want to answer that way. I just thought that maybe that may help. If not, don't worry about it, my friend. I will also offer to be your quit buddy. If you want to call on me, I'll be glad to help in ANY way that I can. my email address is scott@scottcomptonmagic.com and my cell phone is 865-607-3956. Your terms buddy...and as I said, no pressure. You can see Jeff's website at www.mcbridemagic.com - he is a super guy, and a good friend.

What I took from the book was that nicotine is a monster that lives in your body. If you feed it, it continues to live - if you starve it, it dies. You can slay the little monster when you want to.

So let me know how I can help you. Frank, a lot of us on this board love you and want you to succeed. We will do anything to help you, friend.

Your rib-less friend,

Scott

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