I lost my Mom Today - My Best Friend...

I see so many new faces/names on the site. I've been busy for months caring for my Mom in CA (I live in SC) and I haven't been on the site for a bit....

My Loving Mom wanted to pass on at her home with myself and husband caring for her and by her side at death. She was afraid of dying alone and of dying in pain. We made SURE that neither of these things happened (with the help of hospice). My Sister is still useless even in the latest weeks... amazing.

Anyway - she was a fighter to the end (which I wished she wouldn't have been)... but she died with us present and in no pain, managed with drugs every two hours. Tired yes... regrets, None.

Yes, she passed from her 3rd bout of Cancer - breast, breast again, then metastesized. But it started over 10 years ago. While the last year has been hard for her (she was 82)... she had a good, long life that I am grateful for.

I will miss our shopping trips... I will miss how we could spend HOURS rummaging through jewelry sales at the stores... I will miss her love for riding behind my husband on our motorcycle and so much more.

I was her voice on this site - and I read her MANY of the posts from so many of you. She would THANK YOU for the support and kindness not just for herself, but for her daughter... me.

Much love,
xoxo
Judy & Mom (whose name I never mentioned... and it is "Dina".

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33 replies. Join the discussion

Judy,
my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I lost my mother to alzhiemers a few years ago. I too delt with a useless sibling. You did the best a daughter can do.
sincerly,
Lisa

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There is nothing like loosing your mother.... I lost mine over 17 years ago and I still miss her.

---there are times tho that... when I look in the mirror I see a glimps of her-- and I hear her in my voice in mine when I talk to my children-- and I always feel her arms wrapped around me during tough times....

God Bless you!!
Jenni

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Losing a mother at any age is something you can never forget. I am 70 yrs and I had lost my mother at the age of 2.5 yrs and my father at the age of 41 yrs. But I cannot forget those scenes of their death and they are still afresh in my heart & eyes.

I wish god gives you strength to bear the loss. Time is the best healer. Try to do your best to give her a lasting memorial.

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God Bless you and your family at these difficult times.
Memories will get you through it. You will laugh and you will cry.
I lost my mother-in-law last year she was my best friend, she lived next door to me, we did everything together.
It was very difficult, like you I had her in my home with hospice. I miss her every day but each day gets a little better. Like they say time heals all wounds.
I will keep you in my prayers and well as Dina

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Dearest Judy,
(My name also) You have been everything a mother could ask for in a daughter. But it sounds like you were best friends as well. You will have your laughs and your crys as you remember times with her.
There was an essay written many years ago about a woman who lost her husband in which he wrote her a letter. In it he told her to just think of him as being in the next room. Keep on talking to him and telling him of her day. So when you are at the next jewelry sale - ask your mom which one she likes best. She will always be at your side or in the next room.
God Bless you at this trying time.

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My heart goes out to you, Judy. I have not lost my dear, sweet Mom, but I lost my Dad to cancer. The last 6 months, while so so so horrible, were the sweetest times I spent with him. Today, I miss him. And today, after reading your post, I cried for him (something I haven't done in several years). His cancer was in his bones and he had become bedridden in the last months. Dad didn't want to be a burden and actually asked me to kill him a couple times. I told him that I could not but that God would take him when He got ready. Time does heal the emptiness but what helps me most is that I see my Dad walking again and I know that someday he will meet me at those pearly gates with his arms ready to give me lots of hugs and love. My Dad gave his life to the Lord 6 days before he died. I truly believe the Lord was "holding out" for my Dad's salvation. And my Dad's salvation makes it all so so so very worthwhile. When I was diagnosed with cancer in Nov. 2006 and my doc said I had little chance to live, I told my family as we held hands at Thanksgiving, that if I could touch just one person then "this" (cancer) would all be worth it. Little did I know that I would/have touched many lives, even some people in very "high places". You are a wonderful daughter. I can tell by what you have written. While it hurts about your sister, let it go. I, too, had siblings that were "useless". But they have to deal with that "regret" and you don't. I live with NO regrets and I was the one that was extremely blessed by telling my Dad it was "okay to go" and he took 3 breaths and died in my arms. Sweet, sweet memories for me today and always. THANK YOU for posting today. You have made me cry and you have made me smile. And it feels good! Thank you for that blessing. And May God's blessings always be yours.

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You are an awesome daughter. I have one just like you. I know, from personal experience, that the last days of a parent linger for awhile, but eventually those will fade and be replaced by all the good times.

What a great honor to your mother to remember such wonderful things about her.

Peace and love to you and thanks for sharing.

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Judy, I am so sorry for your loss.
That is such an inadequate thing to say, but truly said from the heart.
I remember a few posts from you earlier this year shortly after I joined the site.
You are a wonderful daughter who surely brought great comfort and peace to your mother.

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Dear Judy,
My heart goes out to you and I am so sorry you have to go through this.
When I read your words, I thought of my daughter and how she will feel one of these days. Your mom was blessed with a wonderful giving daughter like you and I'm sure you brought her much joy and comfort in the last part of her life. I hope your sister realizes what you gave to your mother, but she probably won't. I lost my father to cancer 10 years ago and am caregiver to my mother who is elderly and blind. It is a difficult task and my two sisters don't help. I know my mother appreciates my taking care of her, despite my own diagnosis of cancer. Your mother appreciated you and loved you for being there for her. She sounds like a neat person who you will miss for a long time.
Thank you for letting us know about your mom, Dina.

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My prayers are with you and your family.

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My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. You were a very good daughter and I am sure your mom was very grateful.

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My condolences to you. You must be physically and emotionally exhausted at this time. What a wonderful, caring daughter - I'm sure you gave your mother great comfort and peace at the end. Forget your sibling, you did the right thing and will live with that knowledge the rest of your life.

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Judy - I have been following your story for so long I feel like we all know you and your mom. I am very happy she did not have pain and you were there with her....how lovely to be surrounded by love. You are an amazing daughter, which shows me your mom must have been an incredible woman. Her spirit shines from your heart.... always.

We are all here for you and collectively hug you. xx00xx lisa

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Judy,
Another Angel in heaven. So sorry to hear of the loss of Dina. I'm glad you were by her side during all of this.
Terri

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Judy---

My most sincere sympathy to you during this time.

Your Mom sounds like a wonderful woman, and leaves a lasting legacy.

I lost my Mom to lung, brain & bone cancer when I was 22. I have lived life being the kind of woman of whom she would be proud.

I am happy to read that your Mom was not in pain, and she had family by her side. You are an exceptional daughter.

PAMELA

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Judy,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. What a gift you gave to her by being there for her through all of this. Sending you love and a big hug.

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I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS BUT SHE WILL LIVE ON IN YOU. SHE IS SO BLESSED FOR HAVING A DAUGHTER LIKE YOU. I KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE ONE OF THOSE DAUGHTERS. SHE KEEPS ME GOING. SOME DAY SHE WILL NEED YOUR SUPPORT.

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Dear Judy,

I am so sorry for your loss. There is no greater love than being the care giver to your elderly parent.

I lost my mom in February of 2009. She had been in the hospital and nursing home for months before we could bring her home. She was able to be with her family from Aug to Jan. Then was hospitalized in Jan and passed in Feb.

She was my best friend and there isn't a day that I don't think about her or talk to her. I know she hears me.

It made me smile when I read of your mom riding the motorcycle with your husband. It made me think of a book I read years ago called "God on a Harley".

I can't help thinking of God and your mom riding through the streets of heaven, your mom with a big smile on her face having the most wonderful time.

Many hugs and blessings to you and your family.

God Bless,

Grace

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Judy, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I know you will take comfort in knowing that you took excellent care of her. You are a good daughter.
Susan

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My sympathies at the lost of your mother, Judy. I have followed your story about your mother these many, many months. No daughter could have done more for their mother than what you had been doing.

Best to you,

DJ

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