I have been looking for a support group to help me with physical and physiological issues surrounding my incontinence. I know "they" say I am not the only person dealing with this problem, but it feels like it. Hopefully, I can meet a few friends who understand first hand and feel free enough to discuss it. I guess I should introduce myself and tell my story.
My name is Chris, I am 53 years old, married with a son and stepson. I have been living in Omaha, NE area 25+ years. I have had a great marriage and a great career. Well, the career went downhill about when I was diagnosed with Leukemia, had major back surgery, and many other health conditions that keep cropping up. I have dealt with most of these issues pretty well except for the incontinence.
I guess my problems started when I was young. I didn't stop wetting the bed until I was about 15 and I would have occasional accidents during that time too. Back then, my family tried to keep it a dirty little secret and my mother tried to shame me into stopping. My mother used to make me wear diapers at nightwe had a ritual, I would have to get my diaper, rubber pants, and baby powder lay down in front of whoever was there (friends, neighbors, family) then strip down and have my diaper put on and wear it , without pajamas, until it was time for bed. Constantly being reminded that if I would just stop wetting the bed I wouldn't have to wear a diaper anymore.
Accidents where almost as bad. I remember walking home from school with a group of friends and having to go so bad, I peed my pantsI was mortified, but it got worse when I got home. I was spanked and forced to go outside and play in my wet pants. Later, I was put in a diaper and I had to wear them all the time even to school. I was probably in the 6th grade before I stopped wearing diapers.
When I was in my early twenties I had bouts of bed wetting and some urgency. I went to the Doctor and the ran all kinds of tests and put me on medication and behavioral modification to treat my problems. The treatments worked for a long time. My girlfriend, now my wife, understood and helped me through it.
As the years went by things kind of got better and our lives were pretty happy. Until about ten years ago when it popped up its ugly head again. This time worse than ever. Again I lived at the Urologists and they finally diagnosed me with a very small, neurogenic bladder. I tried medication after medication, electrostatic stimulation, they tried to enlarge my bladder by pumping large volumes of liquid in the bladder and stretching it out. I even went about four years of self-cauterization. Now my wife and I are resigned to the fact that I just don't have control anymore and I wear diapers. We tried the throw a ways like Depends, but they leaked and rustled and I hated them. I finally found a source for reusable, pull-up cloth diapers and LeakMaster plastic pants. They feel more like underwear, they don't leak or rustle under clothes, and I feel secure again.
I still have issues, especially depression. I look at it this way now, God gave me these trials for a reason...I haven't figured out why yet. Maybe I can help someone else through their incontinence trials. Who know!