So, this is what has happened so far. Sorry for the long post...

Yesterday I had my colpo. Man, it hurt like hell and I was in pain all day. I don't normally like to take pain killers but my mother eventually made me take some because she got tired of seeing me mope around. Hehe, I am a light weight with any kind of stimulant or depressant so it knocked me right out! When I was getting my colpo I had a lot of questions for the doctor's that either went unanswered or the answers weren't what I was looking for. The doctor's wouldn't tell me what they saw, they just kept whispering amongst each other. I asked them, what do you see? What does it look like? Why can't I have them removed? They explained that most people don't get lsil removed because of the potential of harming a pregnancy. I guess that was enough to convince me.

They said there were several different sites of the cells. They took about 7 samples for the biopsy. I am not sure why they had to take so many. I told them how I have been feeling, you know, the feelings I described in my previous journal entry. They said those feelings aren't normal. They said that feeling that way in not "common" with lsil and are more so symptoms of advanced CC and if I were in those stages of CC, they would be able to see that clearly. However, they didn't tell me exactly what they saw. Just that I have lsil. So that means, I shouldn't feel this way just because I don't have full blown CC and that it is irrelevant to this particular issue?

I am so frustrated. For one, I revert to feeling like a child. I wish I had brought my mother in the room with me but I was trying to be grown-up about all this. I am mature individual, I always have been, but all this at 24? I told myself this time, ask more questions and I did. I don't think they were prepared to answer any of my questions (perhaps use to people just rolling over). I sorta felt disrespected and naive at the same time. I figured they could look at my cervix and give me some sort of explanation as to why I have had the abnormal periods, pelvic and back pain, fatigue, loss of apetite, loss of weight, etc, etc, etc. But no. They said, HPV doesn't cause "generally" those types of things. No sh1t sherlock. I never said to them anything about HPV causing me pain and they just kept talking about HPV. It got to the point where I got kinda loud saying, I know what research has shown about HPV and I am not particularly asking about HPV. Every case is not the same. And with all the types of HPV, do you know everything about it?

Also, I have been searching relentlessly for people who have had my symptoms in correlation with the dysplasia or HPV and I haven't had much success. I have read about some people with HPV experiencing the sharp pians and discomfort in their pelvic region but that is all they experience and its not really that severe. I looked into Chronic Cervisitis and that doesn't at all seemed to be related to HPV, lsil, or CC. It is however related to other STI's, which I have been tested negative for, and other bacteria and infections that I also have not been diagnosed with. I haven't ruled out some kind of infection perhaps causing all these issues but I mean, no one has said I have an infection. Oh wait, I had a yeast infection...took some medicine...doctor said it cleared. Great, right? But since when does a yeast infection that was cleared up some four months ago cause these kinds of symptoms?

So, I guess in conclusion. I will wait for the results of my biopsy. In the mean time, I have another appointment on the 18th which is just supposed to be a follow-up for my break-out. Also, I have been encouraged to get a second opinion and make an appointment with a regular doctor to see if there is any other cause of my symptoms. I have never felt this way in my life and I don't think it was wrong of me to assume that my recent symptoms are in relation to the dysplasia or the HPV. Yet the doctors I saw yesterday, before any test results, seemed to think otherwise.

I don't like hospitals or going to the doctor so these are big steps for me. Part of the reason is that when I know something is wrong with me, and my test results come back fine (you know, blood pressure is ok, stuff like that), the doctors just leave it at that. But I end up going back with the same issues and it seems like no one wanted to take the time to finally say, hey, maybe something is wrong with this girl and we need to dig a little deeper. But what is happening with me now, its different and I can't just say, it will go away and not come back for a while. I see the error in my ways now. I understand that its me who has to seek out a physician that is willing to go the distance with me to see what is going on.

Has anyone else experience anything like this? It doesn't matter if you did or not. Any words of wisdom, advice, and esp. prayers are most welcome. I do feel alone sometimes and I am sure many of you have experienced that. This site, for the short time I have been apart of it, has been very helpful. So, thanks a bunch!

By Chavonia
Posted April 15, 2008 at 12:46 pm
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Oh, I should also mention that the doctor's said that when I come back in three weeks that LEEP seems like a likely option. Not too sure about that one.

By amw327
Posted April 15, 2008 at 12:57 pm
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Chavonia,

Firstly, Let me say, you are NOT alone! I think every emotion,fear and feeling that you are having I too have had and so have many others.This is a scary time, it's good that you have your mom,take her in with you when your seeing the doctor,make sure to ask your questions.SPEAK UP!! when it comes to the doctors, you are a person not an object,you are scared and demand the answers to the questions that you ask. Come here for the questions before you go to your appointments,these women have taught me more then I ever thought I would know. Knowledge is Power! E-mail me if you want to talk, I have had a cone biopsy and can relate with your story and how your feeling. Stay Strong,Angela

By Chavonia
Posted April 15, 2008 at 1:01 pm
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Thanks so much, Angela. That really means a lot to me. I am stepping up the plate, I will step up stronger too! I just feel like I haven't gotten the proper responses. But I guess I shouldn't let that discourage me.

By banana
Posted April 15, 2008 at 1:03 pm
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You poor thing. I know about dr making you feel like less than a person. I have had my fair share of some bad ones.

I have had a LEEP and it wasn't bad. Once they numb your cervix you don't feel thing. Easier than them taking biopsys during a COLP.

I do know about your troubles with dr and not listening to your symptoms. When I was 19 I was sick for three months lost 20 lbs and the dr thought i was lying about how i felt. Turned out my gallbladder was diseased. I bet he felt stupid then. Or I hoped so. :)

Now I have High Grade Dysplasia and I also have chronic gut pains and cramping going on 2 yrs now. I have talked to 4 dr's about it ranging from my PCP, gyno, and gyno oncologist and they keep saying it's probably IBS. I don't think it is and I go to my gyno thursday for a Post LEEP check, and I think I will demand a ultrasound just to make sure there no tumor or growth causing it. I really don't think there is but I would feel better about it if I knew for sure.

Just remember stand up for yourself. I know it's hard but if you don't like how your being treated switch dr's. If you can't switch start asking for things, and take someone with you. It makes it easier if you get stressed and can't ask the question then they can.

Good luck and let us know what your biopsy results say.

Banana

By Chavonia
Posted April 15, 2008 at 1:08 pm
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Awe, Banana! I didn't expect replies so soon. Thanks sooo much. You experience really touched me and I hope that you will pull through. You are in my prayers. This is exactly the kind of fire I needed.

By amiz1234
Posted April 15, 2008 at 2:34 pm
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i hope you start to feel better and your doctors can give u definate answer either way my thoughts are with you. now i know i need to be firm when talking to my doctor in a few weeks after my colp and biopsy! good luck with everything chavonia!

By flowershoplady
Posted April 15, 2008 at 3:51 pm
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hello, chavonia. sorry to hear that your biopsies taken during colposcopy were so painful. you may want to take ibuprofen prior to the procedures to help ease some of the cramping and pain, but sometimes it just plain hurts. and if they had to take a lot of biopsies, then that just makes it even worse. :( i hope you're feeling better today. sending gentle hugs your way.....

and i feel your frustration when the doctors aren't answering your questions and speaking to you. i know it's got to be difficult, but somehow you need to tell them that they need to answer your questions! think of yourself as the 'customer' and this is a doctor you hired and he/she needs to meet your needs!

they are right in that hpv has no 'symptoms', and cervical dysplasia also has no symptoms. most women do not develop symptoms unless they already have cervical cancer. of course, that doesn't mean they should downplay the problems you're having! someone needs to work with you to determine why you're feeling so sick. i hope you can find a health care provider, hopefully a great internist?, that can figure out what's going and get you feeling better. did the gyn do an ecc to check on the cervical health beyond the reach of the pap? that would be a way to be sure that you're getting the whole cervix checked out. i dont' remember all your symptoms, but perhaps an endometrial biopsy is also needed?

unfortunately, sometimes we need to manage the doctors and push til we get someone to listen or keep searching for the doctor, sometimes the 'right' specialty, that will address what's wrong.

when do you get your biopsy results?

By Faith2
Posted April 16, 2008 at 3:44 pm
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Dear Chavonia,

You are in my prayers and you are definitely not alone.

I like your spunk! Dealing with gynecological issues is a scary thing - it's an area of our body that we can't see and we're left vulnerable and at the mercy of doctors to do procedures that we may not always have the proper information about. I like that you 'know' or are in tune with your body - that's very important. I have really learned the value of getting 2nd opinions. And, sometimes, even 3rd and 4th. There was a whole article recently in the New England Journal of Medicine that discusses the intimidation factor between patients and doctors - so good for you for asking questions and seeking other opinions!

By marie_eve
Posted April 16, 2008 at 6:22 pm
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Chavonia,

Always remember when you go to your Dr. you are the one paying them. When you ask something you deserve an answer. When I was having chemo there was a nurse who had a hard time putting the needle in place sometimes having to stick me two or three times before someone else came in and did it the first try. I told one of the nurses I did not want the other nurse anymore during my treatment. She responded by saying, you are the boss and always remember that you are the one paying. I think that was the first time anyone in the medical field had ever said that to me. I never forgot what she said.

I will be praying for you and good luck with all you are going through.

God Bless You
marie_eve

By Chavonia
Posted April 17, 2008 at 11:38 am
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Thanks guys so much for you responses and I have taken them all to heart. The thing is, I am not paying for anything and I couldn't afford to pay for something if I wanted to. That is one of the reasons why I have put things off for so long. I am registered with the IBBCP and they pay for everything. However, I don't think that means I just have to accept whatever service they give me and that I don't have other options. I think they have the mentality that I should just accept whatever because one, they believe I am pretty ignorant as to what is going on and two, they are doing me a favor. That is not going to fly. I got back May 5th for my biopsy results but I think I will check in earlier than that. My mother has already been on contact with someone else willing to help me on this issue.

Hey Flowers,

I did not have an ecc as far as I know but there was some scraping and removal performed. If the doctors did an ecc, which after reading about it, it seems that way but not anesthesia , they did not call it that. You always have so much information that gets me to thinking and researching more, thanks for that! That endometrial biopsy sounds horrible and I hope that it doesn't come down to that. I am also very interested in what internists do and I will seek one out. As I said, I am due back May 5th to follow-up.

Anywuzzle, thanks for all your concerns and prayers =) I will keep you updated!

Welcome to Inspire!

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